My Five Favorite Paris Hilton Quote 'Re-Writes'

Ms. Hilton, 26, wearing no makeup and with her hair disheveled, sobbed and screamed, “Mom, this isn’t right,” as she was taken from the packed courtroom by deputies.

This is from the New York Times on Saturday, and "this" is what I'm interested in. And by "this" I mean, quite literally, "this."

Just exactly what is Paris referring to when she uses the pronoun "this"? It could refer back to many things.

I'm going to a stab at what Paris Hilton really meant by "this" by replacing the pronoun with what she could have been talking about in this quote.

1. "Mom, being famous for really doing nothing and having no talent isn't right."

2. "Mom, never having to work a day in my life isn't right."

3. "Mom, that cloying look I give the paparozzi when they take my picture isn't right."

4. "Mom, the media pay more attention to me than they do the War in Iraq and it isn't right."

5. "Mom, I'm a household name because I made a porn video and it isn't right."

People I Don't Feel Sorry For

1. Paris Hilton.

2. Scooter Libby.

Nobody feels very sorry for Paris, I have to say, except for Paris herself, and whoever it was who decided to free her from Lynwood Century Regional Detention Center.

The same can't be said for Scooter Libby. For example, in today's Wall Street Journal, there's a maudlin piece on Libby called "Fallen Soldier" in which the writer basically pleads President Bush to give this patriot, this hero, this all-star American, this genuine mensch, this "fallen soldier," a pardon. The author writes:

In "The Soldier's Creed," there is a particularly compelling principle: "I will never leave a fallen comrade." This is a cherished belief, and it has been so since soldiers and chroniclers and philosophers thought about wars and great, common endeavors ... Scooter Libbry was there for the beginning of that campaign. [The Iraq War]. He can't be left behind as a casualty of a war our country had once proudly claimed as its own."

I'm offended by this on about 20 different levels. But those who truly should be offended are the families of the 3,504 dead Americans who truly are "fallen soliders" in this war, not to mention the women and children Iraqi civilians who also are dead.

To compare their ultimate sacrifice with Scooter Libby is, to me, nothing short of obscene.

Scooter Libby, the man who helped sell us on a disastrous war that never should have happened, is no "fallen soldier."