HELP! My Yoga Studio Smells Like Poo

Lately, the mantra I've been using at my yoga studio is: "I wish my yoga studio didn't smell like poo."

The problem is that a toilet on the main floor of the studio, and sometimes one on a second level, seems to be chronically out of order. And even when the bathroom is "in order," I've noted that these bathrooms always smell like poo.

Now, don't get me wrong: I take absolutely no issue with a bathroom smelling like poo, since this is what bathrooms are used for: to poo.

But because yoga is an ancient art of meditation that fundamentally involves the act of breathing, I have to publicly call out my yoga studio when the scent of poo is so strong that it lingers like that One Guy who wasn't invited to and won't leave your Christmas party.

Could somebody light a vanilla candle, please?

Things I've learned about doing yoga in a studio that smells like poo:

* I'd rather do yoga in a studio that didn't smell like poo.

* You can't hold your nose in a yoga class when the instructor is constantly telling you to breathe in and out, especially during "Lion's Breath."

* "Downward Facing Dog" would be more relaxing if I wasn't smelling poo while doing it.

* "Happy Baby" pose takes on new meaning when the yoga studio smells like a diaper.

Lt. Dangle Is On The Ball

We here at The Cup of Joe LOVE physical activity, weather it's riding my cool new Christmas bike, lifting weights or practicing Coffee Yoga.

But if you're a little bored with your current exercise routine, like I am nowadays, you get some terrific advice from Reno 911's Lt. Dangle in an interview in the current issue of Out magazine.


Out: You clearly take care of your body. Do you have a specific workout routine?

Dangle: Thanks for noticing. I've tried a lot of workout regimens over the years, but I finally customized one that works for me. I call it Javert Versus Medicine Ball. Basically, it works like this: Every morning I do lunges from my house to the Korean lady's at the end of the block while holding a 16-pound medicine ball and singing Javert's part in Les Miserables, in show order. You should be working up a good sweat by "Javert's Suicide."

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Coffee Yoga

There are many different types of Yoga, an ancient form of meditation and spiritual practice designed to help you relax and improve your flexibility. This includes Karma Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Jnana Yoga and Raja Yoga. As my friends know, I try to do yoga at least once a week.

This morning I practiced a new form of Yoga that I call Coffee Yoga. Here's how you do it:

* Go to Burger King and grab a large cup of its new "BK Joe" Coffee. Make sure you insist on the "turbo blend." (I found out that Burger King is offering this new line of "turbo powered" coffee after reading this New York Times article.)

* Find your nearest gym, yoga or pilates center featuring a certified instructor.

* Practice the Yoga, enjoying the meditation, the breathing exercises and the caffeine rush.

* Do 60 or 90 minutes of yoga and then return to Burger King for another large cup of turbo-blend and a chicken sandwich.