Obama's Speech. In Three Words

He looked presidential.

Obama's VP Pick

Has a cool first name.

If Al Gore had picked This Joe instead of Other Joe in 2000, he'd be winding down his second term right about now. You need a V.P. who can respond sharply and quickly to attacks and go on the attack -- something that "Gentleman Joe" (more recently recognizable in recent years as Cuckoo Joe) did a poor and absolutely inadequate job of in 2000.

Go, go, go Joseph.

Spaghetti Cat

Why would anybody need a reason why?

You Have Yourself to Blame, Jack

"George Bush's record as a student, military man, businessman and leader of the free world is one of constant failure. And the part that troubles me most is he seems content with himself. He will leave office with the country $10 trillion in debt, fighting two wars, our international reputation in shambles, our government cloaked in secrecy and suspicion that his entire presidency has been a litany of broken laws and promises, our citizens' faith in our own country ripped to shreds. Yet Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been. I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him,"
- Jack Cafferty, CNN.

What Jack doesn't mention here is that he has admitted in the past to voting for Bush. Twice. Both in 2000 and 2004.

At least he has it right now.

The Answer is ... Wa-wa.

“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”

"At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.”

“At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgement.”

“Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.”

“To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.”

***

Today is my friend Frenchy's 40th birthday. Today also is Madonna's 50th birthday. Shout-outs to both, and to my friend Peaches, who turned 40 earlier this week.

Were we ever young? Wa-wa.

Happy Birthday!

(Quote source, from the likes of Victor Hugo and Ben Franklin, here.)

"I Just Shook His Hand"

As in Ernest Borgnine's hand, which just might be calloused. The 'splanation here:



Speaking of Ernest Borgnine, although he earned an Oscar for Marty in 1955, and he was quite good in this, my all-time favorite Borgnine role is "Rogo" in The Poseidon Adventure, as in Det. Lt. Mike Rogo.

I wish I had a cool name like Rogo.

Bigfoot: Rest In Peace, My Furry Friend

The email came from Wally mid-day. Big Foot is dead!

In fact, two men who are holding a press conference tomorrow say they've found Bigfoot dead in the hills of George.

I just hope that the big lug finally is in a better place!

I wonder if Steve Austin or Jaime Sommers were in on the hunt for Sasquatch?

This Day in 2004

Aug. 14, 2004. I was enjoying a fabulous week in Provincetown while "soon-to-be President" John Kerry was riding high in the polls. This is the way the presidential race looked on this day.

Of course, this was before T. Boone Pickens swiftboated John Kerry's biggest strength (war hero) into a faux weakness thanks to enough media-aided hot air to power several T. Boone windfarms.

(Graphic Source: the always enlightening electoral-vote.com)

Things I've Been Meaning to Blog About

* Morgan Freeman drives a 1997 Nissan Maxima?

* Madonna and Neil Diamond both have new CDs, both of which are on my Ipod, and both are playing four nights at Madison Square Garden, and both are selling out their world tours. Don't ask me what I think this means.

* Libra from Big Brother 10 on CBS reminds me of Michelle Obama. Minus the class, charm, intelligence and grace.

* John Edwards is a fool. A fool with a haircut and a 50,000-square-foot house.



UPDATE: Uh, nevermind what I said about Libra, who was voted off the show last night and whose family (profiled on last night's show) seems like an utterly decent lot. Unlike other contestants, who are on the verge of tears after they get voted out as they wallow in self-absorbtion, with a look on their faces as if another 9/11 just happened, she handled her exit interview with Julie Chen with ... class, charm, intelligence and grace. Seriously.

Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

Tom Brokaw on Meet the Press: Do you think running a campaign ad in which you feature Britney Spears and Paris Hilton is respectful of Barack Obama?

Joe Lieberman: [Perks up his head, raises his eyebrows and announces confidently and seemingly with utter sincerity] I do.

I Wonder if Sherwin Williams Ever Runs Out of Paint?

Saturday afternoon I ordered a medium house coffee at the Starbucks inside the local Target.

"We are all out of coffee. Can you wait?"

I went home and brewed my own.

Sunday morning, at a different Starbucks, Wally and I ordered two large coffees in the drive-through window.

"We are out of coffee," so you'll have to pull around and we'll bring it out to you.

So we pulled around, waited more than 10 minutes and then walked inside to pick up the coffee.

***

IN RELATED NEWS:

Starbucks stock price two years ago: $34.03.
Starbucks stock price on Friday: $14.42.

Make it Stop!

I can't get the Activia jingle out of my head.

My Middle Finger Had to Issue a Retraction

Busy road on a rainy day. 5:15 in the p.m. Rush hour. Traffic.

The idiot in the fancy red car flying the American flag almost runs me off the road. Stressful day at work and now this? Fuck. I coulda been kilt!

He pulls away. I notice the driver is talking on a cell phone. Of course. Whenever anybody is driving like an idiot it usually turns out he (or she) is on his cell phone.

What am I to do? How can I let off some steam? Road rage, clearly, is the answer. So I flip him off. Subtly.

I approach closer. My one-finger wave, mostly hidden, is more for me than for him, but then I notice it. On his back window. The sticker -- an Obama 08 sticker.

My middle finger quickly issues a retraction.

He's probably having a bad day, too, I think, and I bet that's an important call.

Keep hope alive.

25 Years Ago in Baseball

1. Players wore tighter uniforms.

2. The moustache was not just a matter of grooming: It was a personal statement.

3. The infamous George Brett Pine Tar incident -- 25 years ago TODAY.

Two Unrelated Facts to Stew On

1. Jerry from Big Brother 10, currently airing on CBS, is 75 years old -- the token old guy on the show amidst all the "youngens."





2. If John McCain wins the presidency, he will be as old as Jer-Bear by the time he is about halfway through his presidency.

I don't know what any of this means or adds up to, but it makes me ... kind of nervous.

Keep hope alive.

Do the Math

Stephen Colbert + Canadian Rockers = ENTERTAINMENT.

This was the rock trio Rush's first appearance on U.S. TV in 30 years.

You Got That Right

I *heart* Jaclyn Smith.