Cup of Joe Exclusive With Nasonex Bee

We here at The Cup of Joe recently sat down with the Nasonex Bee at an undisclosed coffee shop in Collinsville, Ill., for an exclusive interview. There were no ground rules for the interview, and no limitations were placed on what we could discuss with the Nasonex Bee. The interview comes in light of recent news involving big pharmaceutical companies trying to influence the midterm elections with donations to Republican candidates.

Cup of Joe: Welcome to Collinsville, Nasonex Bee, it’s an honor to meet you.

Nasonex Bee: Right back at ya, Cup o’ Joe. Please, call me N.B. You can also call me Mometasone Furoate.

COJ: Thanks, N.B. In terms of anti-inflammatory steroidal nasal sprays, we here at the Cup of Joe think you’re the greatest.

NB: Flattery will get you everywhere! (Laughs)

COJ: We like your accent. Is it Spanish?

NB: I call it my "conquistador Spanish." But I grew up in Pittsburgh.

COJ: It’s sexy. You must be a killer bee when it comes to the ladies.

NB: I do all right; I get my share. Let's just put it this way: The honeys sure do like to swarm around my hive. (Winks)

COJ: Can you share any more information, N.B., information not in the police report, involving the assault charges stemming against you in light of your barroom brawl with Digger the Dermatophyte over the Lunesta butterfly?

NB: Mind your own beeswax. My attorney has advised that I don’t speak any more on this matter. I can say, however, that I care very deeply for Lunesta the Butterfly. We had some rough times when she was still in the larval stage, but our relationship has blossomed since she metamorphosized. I can say nothing more.

COJ: If you could sting one person in the world, whom would it be?

NB: Michael J. Fox.

COJ: Fox?

NB: We agree with Rush Limbaugh. He was faking it in those TV commercials for Democrats. This was his worst performance since Teen Wolf. I would sting him right now if it didn’t mean that I’d be dead within the hour.

COJ: There have been unconfirmed reports, N.B., about drug companies seeking to influence the November elections in favor of Republicans, such as Rick Santorum in Pennsylvania, a Senator who supported legislation that makes it impossible for the government to negotiate better and fairer prices for prescription medications such as Nasonex. What's the buzz you are hearing about this?

NB: The Democrats voted against body armor for our soldiers in Iraq.

COJ: What does this have to do with Senators being bought and sold by the drug companies?

NB: The Democrats want to cut and run. This is all I can say. Again, I could sting you right now, but it means I’d be dead within the hour. You’re simply not worth it.

COJ: So will the Republicans win?

N.B.: I think we’re going to retain the House and Senate --- by a nose. (Laughs)

COJ: (Laughs.)

NB: (Still laughing)

COJ: Thank you for your time, Senor Mometasone Furoate. We really appreciate you spending this time with us this afternoon. With the election just two weeks away, we know you are busy as a bee trying to get Republicans elected. Enjoy the rest of your double latte.