Attention Theocrats! Violating Ninth Commandment is a ... Bridge to Nowhere

The ninth Commandment: Thou shall not bear false witness ...

I said, thou shall not bear false witness.

John McCain gets BarackRoll'd

John McCain spoke in front of a green screen when giving his convention speech. So get ready for a bunch of these! Stephen Colbert already had some fun with the same video last week, when he showed McCain speaking in front of a dead guy in a crypt.

Brilliant and Asisine. Still. A Quick Review of Palin's Speech

Well-written speech. Really. Well-done. A lot of it was complete bullshit, and she didn't mention Bush once, and she mocked Barack Obama's past as a community organizer (how awful), and she continues to mislead on issues such as her "opposition" to pork and the Bridge to Nowhere, but it was delivered well and the person who wrote it did what he needed to do.

But I'm sticking by what I wrote BEFORE all the negative publicity started hitting, about her daughter's pregnancy, about Troopergate, about Alaskan secession, about her Church attendance, about all that.

Small-town America and many others will love her speech. Really. Her Alaskan accent ... her adorable family ... the way she bites down and scrunches her face when she wants to make a tough point. Brilliant.

But could she really be president of the United States? Does she really think, as she stated last night and which has become a Republican talking point, that she has more experience to be president than Joe Biden or Barack Obama? Can she really be a reformer/outsider when the party with her harsh conservative philosophy/worldview has held both the Presidency and Congress for most of the last eight years? Asinine.

Brilliant and Asinine.

$50 Million ... 60 Pennies

Rudolph Guiliani, the conservative who spent $50 million to win exactly one delegate before withdrawing from the Presidential race, is throwing red meat to the Republican masses tonight in St. Paul.

I saw most of the speech; in fact, it is continuing as I write this. I'm also spending this time browsing my Rudolph Guiliani "Countdown to Victory" 16-Month 2007-2009 calendar, which I bought for 60 pennies on clearance at Borders earlier this year.



In a post by Andrew Sullivan on the speech, titled "One Very Off Moment," he writes:

The one moment that stays with me tonight, oddly enough, was not Palin's speech. It was a line from Giuliani, a New York mayor with a young second third wife and gay friends, mocking a "cosmopolitan" who was brought up by a single mother. It was that Barack Obama's rise could "only happen in America." And it was designed to mock him, the first African-American candidate for the presidency of the United States.

I won't forget that.

Klassy. With a K.

"I don't understand why it is that all of a sudden you can't tell the truth about Barack Obama because some people are getting rained on."
-- An unnamed Republican, complaining about the abbreviated convention schedule on Monday because of fears about Hurricane Gustav.

The Daily Show audience jeered.

Republican Men Who Have Sex With Men But Who Are Not Gay (the RMSMBWANGs)

Here's wishing all those closeted gay Republicans lots of hot "I'm not gay" gay sex during the Republican convention. You know, the RMSMBWANGs (pronouced Rims-Bwangs).

If the ads on the gay sex web sites are any indication, then it looks like they'll be paying for lots of illegal, hot gay sex. Even though they're not gay. Even though they want to limit the rights for those men who have the audacity to both have sex with men and admit that they are gay, too.

***

You know that nobody would be making an issue of this if they didn't make an issue of US first.

***

Speaking of Republicans who hate gays, here's a list of Sarah Palin's gay-hatin' ways. I wish people would leave her daughter alone, but as U.S. Rep. Barney Frank points out, they're the ones who keep harping on family values. So when people "bring it on," why are they so shocked and offended?

For the Indepedent, Can't-Make-Up-His Mind Voter

Asinine and Brilliant

John McCain's pick of Sarah Palin as his running mate is brilliant and asinine.

She is beautiful, well-spoken and likeable. She has a certain "it" factor that also could be said of Obama. She is unvetted. She is deeply conservative. She has a 4-month-old son with autism. She supported Pat Buchanan in the 2000 presidential election. She said recently she doesn't know much about the Iraq War and that she wasn't sure just what the Vice President does. She is the personification of "change" and is the consumate "Washington outsider" -- two desirable qualities after eight years of Bush. She's a former union member. She hunts. She looks like Tina Fey.

It'd be foolish to underestimate Palin. In the absence of some revelation or other scandal, she is not Dan Quayle and she is not Geraldine Ferraro. Quayle came off like a deer in the headlights during his vice presidential debate with Lloyd Bentsen. My gut feel is that this former beauty queen is more fox than deer -- and not because of the way she looks.

***

Choosing Palin was a liberal, bold gamble made by a conservative. Chosing Biden was a conservative, prudent pick made by a liberal.

McCain's pick was a Hail Mary pass to help him win an election -- more than it was to help him govern. Obama's pick was a run up the middle on first down (five-yard gain) to help him govern -- more than it was to help him win an election. Wouldn't a true conservative prefer the Obama methodology? Is now a good time to gamble as Americans are dying in the Middle East and as our economy tanks?

This will either help McCain win, just barely, or it'll help Obama win in a landslide. I don't think Obama wins a close election. He'll either win big, or he won't win at all.

***

John McCain, who has battled the deadliest form of skin cancer on multiple occasions, turned 72 on Friday. Sarah Palin would be one heartbeat away from the most powerful job in a dangerous world.

If that doesn't make your heart race, what would? On this level, this bold, liberal, non-traditional choice is reckless and asinine.

Obama's Speech. In Three Words

He looked presidential.

Obama's VP Pick

Has a cool first name.

If Al Gore had picked This Joe instead of Other Joe in 2000, he'd be winding down his second term right about now. You need a V.P. who can respond sharply and quickly to attacks and go on the attack -- something that "Gentleman Joe" (more recently recognizable in recent years as Cuckoo Joe) did a poor and absolutely inadequate job of in 2000.

Go, go, go Joseph.

Spaghetti Cat

Why would anybody need a reason why?

You Have Yourself to Blame, Jack

"George Bush's record as a student, military man, businessman and leader of the free world is one of constant failure. And the part that troubles me most is he seems content with himself. He will leave office with the country $10 trillion in debt, fighting two wars, our international reputation in shambles, our government cloaked in secrecy and suspicion that his entire presidency has been a litany of broken laws and promises, our citizens' faith in our own country ripped to shreds. Yet Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been. I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him,"
- Jack Cafferty, CNN.

What Jack doesn't mention here is that he has admitted in the past to voting for Bush. Twice. Both in 2000 and 2004.

At least he has it right now.

The Answer is ... Wa-wa.

“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”

"At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.”

“At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgement.”

“Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.”

“To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.”

***

Today is my friend Frenchy's 40th birthday. Today also is Madonna's 50th birthday. Shout-outs to both, and to my friend Peaches, who turned 40 earlier this week.

Were we ever young? Wa-wa.

Happy Birthday!

(Quote source, from the likes of Victor Hugo and Ben Franklin, here.)

"I Just Shook His Hand"

As in Ernest Borgnine's hand, which just might be calloused. The 'splanation here:



Speaking of Ernest Borgnine, although he earned an Oscar for Marty in 1955, and he was quite good in this, my all-time favorite Borgnine role is "Rogo" in The Poseidon Adventure, as in Det. Lt. Mike Rogo.

I wish I had a cool name like Rogo.

Bigfoot: Rest In Peace, My Furry Friend

The email came from Wally mid-day. Big Foot is dead!

In fact, two men who are holding a press conference tomorrow say they've found Bigfoot dead in the hills of George.

I just hope that the big lug finally is in a better place!

I wonder if Steve Austin or Jaime Sommers were in on the hunt for Sasquatch?

This Day in 2004

Aug. 14, 2004. I was enjoying a fabulous week in Provincetown while "soon-to-be President" John Kerry was riding high in the polls. This is the way the presidential race looked on this day.

Of course, this was before T. Boone Pickens swiftboated John Kerry's biggest strength (war hero) into a faux weakness thanks to enough media-aided hot air to power several T. Boone windfarms.

(Graphic Source: the always enlightening electoral-vote.com)

Things I've Been Meaning to Blog About

* Morgan Freeman drives a 1997 Nissan Maxima?

* Madonna and Neil Diamond both have new CDs, both of which are on my Ipod, and both are playing four nights at Madison Square Garden, and both are selling out their world tours. Don't ask me what I think this means.

* Libra from Big Brother 10 on CBS reminds me of Michelle Obama. Minus the class, charm, intelligence and grace.

* John Edwards is a fool. A fool with a haircut and a 50,000-square-foot house.



UPDATE: Uh, nevermind what I said about Libra, who was voted off the show last night and whose family (profiled on last night's show) seems like an utterly decent lot. Unlike other contestants, who are on the verge of tears after they get voted out as they wallow in self-absorbtion, with a look on their faces as if another 9/11 just happened, she handled her exit interview with Julie Chen with ... class, charm, intelligence and grace. Seriously.