Bush White House Wanted to Say 'You're Fired' 93 Times

We learned this morning that the Bush administration considered firing all 93 U.S. attorneys.

I wonder what went wrong?

* Did these attorneys chose the wrong color napkin during a "create the perfect bridal reception" elimination challenge?

* Did they sell fewer bottles of gourmet salad dressing than the boys in the sheriff's office during a competition at an area organic food super center?

* Did they underperform in a competition involving creating a line of sexy new swimsuits?

Maybe these 93 men and women deserved to be fired? Without competitive skills in all these areas, especially the ability to create sexy swimsuits and kiss Karl Rove's political ass, they may not deserve these jobs that are so critical to the health and functioning of our beloved democracy.

It's Not All Pink Inside Donald's World

A contestant on The Apprentice was fired last night after promoting and modeling a pink swimsuit that was deemed too gay.

"I don't think I'd ever wear a pink bathing suit. You know there's a difference between a pink tie and a pink bathing suit in Trump World," Trump, sporting a pink tie, said in the board room.

The challenge for the potential future chief executives/swimsuit models was to manufacture a line of swimsuits. The fired contestant, Carey, who happens to be gay, modeled the suit himself and argued that there was definitely a market for swimsuits such as this.

Donald was rather "taken aback" by the pink suit. In the boardroom, he would only pick it up with the assistance of a pen.

And although he fired Carey, leaving what appears to be just one other openly gay contestant on the show, he did give him the swimsuit as a nice parting gift to take back home to Atlanta.

***

Life is a Beach For Martin

"When we landed at the carwash, it was just like Normandy Beach; it was absolute bedlum."

-- Martin, "attorney and professor,"
on his first task on the new
LA edition of The Apprentice.

No one really knows how many people died on the first day of the Normandy invasion, also known as D-Day, June 6, 1944. I really hate correcting/clarifying Martin on this, but it actually occured on five different beachheads, not one of them code-named Normandy. And just to put things in perspective, probably more American and British men died on this day, a single day, than died on Sept. 11, 2001.

Add to this total the number of Germans who were killed, and it was a bloodbath.

In fact, some estimate that during the entire Normandy campaign, as many as half a million souls perished.

What could compare to such human misery, such a toll on mankind?

A carwash challenge. On The Apprentice. Or so says Martin.

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That Apprentice Guy With the Accent

With the finale of The Apprentice next week, I'm predicting "British Guy" will win.

Sorry, I can't remember his name.

Godspeed, British Guy. I hope your ability to correctly pick out napkin colors will serve you well in your future life in Mr. Trump's companies.

The Seamstress

It’s down to the final four on The Apprentice tonight, with Sean, Allie, Roxanne and Lee in a vicious battle testing that sought-after real-world management skill: creating a new line of uniforms. Godspeed, mis amigos!