Happy Days For Fall TV

COMING THIS FALL: the great Norman Lear is producing a one-hour TV show for NBC, and the great Jerry Seinfeld is returning to a network TV comedy show.

Read more here.

And in what sounds like a truly awful idea, the tired (and previously canceled) reality show The Apprentice (which became a parody of itself with all its product placement plugs happily shilled by annoyingly obsequious contestants who couldn't opine enough glowing comments about "Mr. Trump," who is, by the way, "amazing") will be returning with ... a celebrity cast?

I need your help in the comments. I'm accepting nominations for washed up celebrity contestants to appear with Donald Trump on the celebrity version of The Apprentice. Let me start by throwing out VIKI the robot from Small Wonder and Potsie from Happy Days.

Potsie and Viki, you're hired!

It's Not All Pink Inside Donald's World

A contestant on The Apprentice was fired last night after promoting and modeling a pink swimsuit that was deemed too gay.

"I don't think I'd ever wear a pink bathing suit. You know there's a difference between a pink tie and a pink bathing suit in Trump World," Trump, sporting a pink tie, said in the board room.

The challenge for the potential future chief executives/swimsuit models was to manufacture a line of swimsuits. The fired contestant, Carey, who happens to be gay, modeled the suit himself and argued that there was definitely a market for swimsuits such as this.

Donald was rather "taken aback" by the pink suit. In the boardroom, he would only pick it up with the assistance of a pen.

And although he fired Carey, leaving what appears to be just one other openly gay contestant on the show, he did give him the swimsuit as a nice parting gift to take back home to Atlanta.

***

Life is a Beach For Martin

"When we landed at the carwash, it was just like Normandy Beach; it was absolute bedlum."

-- Martin, "attorney and professor,"
on his first task on the new
LA edition of The Apprentice.

No one really knows how many people died on the first day of the Normandy invasion, also known as D-Day, June 6, 1944. I really hate correcting/clarifying Martin on this, but it actually occured on five different beachheads, not one of them code-named Normandy. And just to put things in perspective, probably more American and British men died on this day, a single day, than died on Sept. 11, 2001.

Add to this total the number of Germans who were killed, and it was a bloodbath.

In fact, some estimate that during the entire Normandy campaign, as many as half a million souls perished.

What could compare to such human misery, such a toll on mankind?

A carwash challenge. On The Apprentice. Or so says Martin.

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The Seamstress

It’s down to the final four on The Apprentice tonight, with Sean, Allie, Roxanne and Lee in a vicious battle testing that sought-after real-world management skill: creating a new line of uniforms. Godspeed, mis amigos!