Car Chase + Cat Collector = Cuckoo

This is bizzare: A man well-known as a cat collector led police on a high speed chase in Texas that reached 100 miles an hour. He claimed he was trying to get a sick cat to the hospital before it died.

It also appears as if the cat already had been dead for a long time.

"My cat was dying. I'm trying to get him to the vet," said the man. "I was trying to get to the vet, and I was hoping they would just quit following me."

Watch and read more here.

Can This Cat Predict Death?

YOU make the call by reading this.

Psycho Kitty

Ferrell Kitty

My Daughter's Birthday

A special little lady in my life turns 12 years old today.

I want to tell her lots of things. How proud I am of her. How special she is. How she has blossomed into a beautiful and elegant young woman.

I want to explain to her that it's tough being 12. That the others in the neighborhood can sometimes be cruel, that she needs to keep her head up and walk proud and respect herself, and have enough confidence and wisdom to respect the choices she makes.

I want to tell her that it's OK to make mistakes. That we learn from mistakes. That mistakes can make us better people. And if we live life afraid of being wrong, or making a mistake, that we never grow.

I want to tell her about how hard it's been being a working single father, but because it's been worth every single second, I won't.

I want to tell her all about how in life, there are always choices, and that it is these choices that define us, that build our character, that make us who we are.

I want to tell her how much she means to me, and how I love her.

And, as a very special birthday present today, I'm also going to change her litter box.

Confused About Kitties

I'm trying to imagine the perplexed person who is so befuddled about adorable kittens that they would need the help of this book. I saw it for sale while standing in line at the local grocery store.

A few weeks ago the store was selling Baby Names for Dummies.

Coming up next, the explosive best seller: Passing Gas For Dummies.

But Can Nora Play Rachmaninoff ?

As of this morning, Nora the piano-playing cat had 2,621,993 views on YouTube. This is compared with:

* Hillary Clinton on government reform: 2,238 views.
* Mitt Romney on immigration and health care: 12 views.
* Barack Obama on education: 354 views



I wonder what Nora thinks about global warming? Oil dependency? Avian flu?

BREAKING NEWS: Despite the Whole Kernel Corn, World's Best Cat Litter Turned Out To Be Defective!

Yesterday I wrote about how one of the most charming songs in the history of American musical theater is now being used to help sell kitty litter.

I have an update to this post, and the news is not good.

I wound up having to return the World's Best Cat Litter to Target before my Little Princess could poop over it and, in the process, be made to feel pretty, oh so pretty.

When I opened the box, it was one, big, giant, rectangular and unseparable CLUMP, like a giant Rice Krispy Treat. Well, they did boast on the box about how well it clumps, but I wasn't expecting a marshmallow-like binding agent.

Or maybe it was the corn? I understand the secret to this product is CORN, don't you know.

One more thing: I'm not sure "corn" is the best thing to bring up when talking about pets and poo.

BREAKING NEWS: New Cat Product Spotted Moments Ago During Target Run!

World's Best Cat Litter, Original Strength. Tagline: "It Makes Me Feel Pretty ... Oh So Pretty."

I have absolutely no doubt that any product that can turn the act of pooping into something glamorous has to be the absolute best in the world.

***

I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and gay
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me today
I feel charming
Oh so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real
See the pretty girl in that mirror there?
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face
Such a pretty dress
Such a pretty smile
Such a pretty me!

-- MARIA from West Side Story, and now also a universal refrain from cats who poop using the World's Best Cat Litter.

Operation Kitten Calendar

I did a post about a recommended new show on VH 1 called Acceptable TV a couple weeks ago. A blog reader, my friend Peaches, sent along one of the latest videos from the show, "Operation Kitten Calendar," which I missed since my Tivo has been on the blink. It's sure to please cat lovers, and cat haters.

Things I Find In My Basement

THIRD IN A CONTINUING SERIES.




"Socks the White House Cat" stuffed animal, still in its original cardboard packaging. Birthday gift, 1996.

PETS: People for the Ethical Treatment of Soldiers

Rosie O'Donnell, on the tainted pet food that has been pulled from shelves, this morning, on The View:

This has been all over the news. It really started on March 16. And since then, 15 cats and one dog have died, and it's been all over the news. And you know, since that date, 29 soldiers have died. [pause]. And we haven't heard much about them.

... I just think it's interesting that so much news coverage is about the kitties.

Hold The Gravy

The makers of "Special Kitty Select Cuts," a cat food that sounds like it uses better meat than a McDonald's hamburger, are being sued in a wrongful death lawsuit. The Chicago Tribune has a story this morning, as does the Sun-Times.

The pet food recall mentioned in these stories includes 40 brands of cat food and 51 brands of dog food sold by companies such as Iams, PetCare and Science Diet.

The USDA says that at least 14 animals -- one dog and 13 cats -- have died after eating pet food products made by Menu Foods. The culprit: tainted gravy.

Routine tasting trials led to the recall of the products:

During quarterly taste tests, the company fed its products to 25 cats and 15 dogs, and of those, nine cats died, Sundlof said. The company said four cats and one dog belonging to customers died also, he said.

Sundlof said he fears the number of animals affected is widespread.

The Chicago cat that died, by the way, looked a lot like Morris the Cat.

When Kittens Attack

The full story here.

It Was A Fair Question

The other day, just as Wally was leaving my house, he overheard me talking to my cat.

In what was sort of a monologue, I was letting my little princess know how proud I was of her, how she's grown into a wonderful and elegant young lady, how she should never sleep with a boy cat just because he purrs at her, and how my little heaven-sent angel is not only pretty on the outside, but that she radiates an essential inner beauty that is so much more important. I reminded my little girl that she is a confident, self-assured young lady who doesn't need the affirmations of a male cat (in this case a frisky one) to validate her essential dignity and her inherent self-worth.

Wally then asked me: This is what you do when I'm not here, right?

I said yes.

***

Switch Hitters Turn Me On

"SWITCH HITTER"

FIRST IN AN OCCASIONAL SERIES

Reader submissions invited.

Gay, Straight or Taken?

That's the title of a new show on Lifetime Television. The premise is simple: a confused single woman has to figure out which of the three male contestants on the show are either gay, straight or taken. To figure this out, the male contestants have to answer questions or do tasks, such as "take your shirt off" or "strip down to skimpy swimsuit." The show premiered earlier this week.

We here at The Cup of Joe are pleased to announce a new feature of this blog: Gay, Straight or Taken: Kitten Edition.

One of the kitties at right is gay, one is straight, and one is taken.


Can you tell which is which?

You can watch the first episode here.

***

Cat Scratch Fever

Sherman was right: War is hell.

And the proof is in the pudding over at kittenwar.com

May the best kitten win, and to the victor will go the chicken- and salmon-tasting-like food product.

Peace out.

Cats That Look Like Hitler

Regular readers of The Cup of Joe know that I love cats, and I absolutely hate Hitler! With this perfectly clear, let me just say that the Internet is a wonderful thing.