Wednesday, October 29, 2008

POW Fashion

I recently had the opportunity to watch Hogan's Heroes in high-def on HD Net for the first time.

Don't Hogan's Nazi-supplied pajamas look comfortable?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Separated at Birth?

Election 2008: When Dirty Tricks met Mr. Clean.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I Am Not Joe the Plumber

Twenty years ago this week: It was a crisp fall day and, as an idealistic (or possibly just drunk) college student, I walked house-to-house canvassing for Michael Dukakis and Lloyd Bentsen along with some of my college Democrat friends.

A recent John McCain TV spot took me back to these times because the ad made me think of a Dukakis commercial from way back when. The Dukakis commercial, embedded below, is esoteric. It pictures politicians in a smoke-filled room talking about Dan Quayle. Just terrible. This didn't resonate with anyone.

I thought of this terrible Dukakis ad this week when McCain came out with the below ad. This, too, is esoteric, and won't change anyone's mind, and might also just confuse people. It's lame. It's all about Joe the Plumber, the Hero McCain is still harping on even though "Sam the Plumber" hasn't exactly passed the scratch-and-sniff bullshit detector tests with flying colors.

I'd also like to say, just for the record, that unlike the people in this video, I am NOT Joe the plumber. I owe no back taxes, I'm not a Republican plant, my taxes would go down under Barack Obama, I would not enjoy being a media whore, and my real first name is Joe.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Two Statements of Fact, and One Statement of Opinion

1. Linda Lavin from Alice turned 71 this month.

2. Linda Lavin is a year younger than John McCain.

3. John McCain reminds me of Mel.

'The Best Advice I Ever Got'

A couple weeks ago, on the day the stock market fell 777 points to what was then the LOWEST LEVELS EVER, a copy of the new issue of Fortune Magazine arrived on my desk. A major business leader was featured giving readers "The Best Advice I Ever Got." It's a regular feature.

Here's what she had to say. (Click to embiggen.)

Although I admire this spirit of optimism, it's also the same spirit that has me regretting that I didn't switch all the money in my 401K plan from stocks into something more stable, say a tangible physical commodity. Like Kitty Litter, dirty diapers or recycled animal feces "repurposed" as fertilizer.


This week the stock market again reached the LOWEST LEVELS EVER.

It's a reminder for people like our Fortune Friend pictured above that fearlessness sometimes leads to recklessness, and then we all lose.

Failure is an option, my friends. This is why we need to keep hope alive.

Deja Vu All Over Again

THIS happened to me this morning. Again.

Barack Obama: Reducing road rage and blood pressure all across America.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Last Word: Kirk's Phaser is NOT on Stun

Below is a textbook case of a celebrity having to have The Last Word.

Really, who cares?

Friday, October 10, 2008

This Makes Me ... Sad

Sad for McCain. One reaps what one sows.

Sad for the woman who said this. Don't most of us have an ignorant relative or acquaintance (or maybe even friend) who would say the same thing? Can she help it if she gets all her news from Fox and believes everything read from a teleprompter and insinuated during a Sarah Palin stump speech?


Two Things That Leave Me Speechless

... But for different reasons.

1) Don't watch the first video on a full stomach.

2) Watch the second video if you're still feeling sick from the first video and need some reassurance about the promise and hope of America.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

'Mosquitos v. Mountains': Not a Supreme Court Decision

... But it was part of an answer during the evening gown portion of Sarah Palin's Miss Alaska appearance.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Ya Know, Marge, Roger Ebert is One Smart Cookie

Roger Ebert is one terrific writer. I've long admired his reviews, which I'd call "essays" rather than reviews since they're so much more insightful than your typical movie criticism.

Check out his non-political V.P debate analysis here. He works in some Fargo references that are just golden as he ponders whether Sarah Palin is more like police officer Marge Gunderson or car salesman Jerry Lundegaard.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Sarah Palin: 18,000 Tiny Cracks in her Credibility

Rudolph Guiliani just declared on MSNBC that Sarah Palin last night gave one of the best debate performances in U.S. history.

Perhaps he is hopped up on goofballs.


Two quick reactions about her debate performance:

* She ripped the mainstream media in her closing remarks, but it should be pointed out that it wasn't the mainstream media who gave incoherent answers during the Katie Couric interviews, it was she herself. And she still hasn't had a press conference, because she knows it will expose her serious lack of depth.

* Her answer about expanding the powers of the vice presidency "with a bit more authority" based on the constition was baffling, incoherent and a little scary.
"I'm thankful the Constitution would allow a bit more authority given to the vice president also if that vice president so chose to exert it in working with the Senate and making sure that we are supportive of the president's policies and making sure too that our president understands what our strengths are."

That's an exact quote. Decoder wheel not included.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Why We Need to Be Careful About Sarah Palin

Liberal blogs and mainstream publications such as the Wall Street Journal are reporting rumors about Sarah Palin's DISASTROUS performances in pre-debate simulations. Keith Olberman gleefully reports these rumors. Expectations are at an all-time low.

Be very careful, people.

Expectations are now so low that if she is "mediocre" or "mediocre to bad" instead of just "bad," the pundits will declare her the winner.

This is exactly what the McCain camp wants: lowever expectations.

So be very careful people. I have no doubt, in the format of this particular debate, in Palin's ability to 1) recite lines 2) inspire populist glee among a certain segment of fundamentalists and 3) look sexy.

She did it during the interview portion of the Miss Alaska competition, and she can do so, perhaps even skillfully, here as well.

Five Questions for Sarah Palin

1. Please explain the significance of Marbury v. Madison in American judicial history.

2. Compare and contrast lip stick with lip gloss.

3. If you had to choose between terrific smelling hair and hair that had the type of volume that would be the envy of the entire Wasilla City Council, which would you choose?

4. Among the following three choices, separate the sit-com from the infamous Supreme Court decisions: Plessy v. Ferguson. Bush v. Gore. Golden Girls.

5. Which Golden Girl do you think most resembles John McCain?

Let the Debate Begin

But don't underestimate Sarah Palin, cause I know she has some tricks up her sleeve for tonight's debate, like:

* Vasoline on the teeth is a terrific way to make the smile brighter.
* Lightly heating the eyelash curler with a hair dryer is a great way to make the eyelash curl last!
* Lipstick, lipstick, lipstick.