Saturday, July 29, 2006

Serve it With Love, and a Raspberry Vinagrette Drizzle

There's something wrong about this website; I'm not sure what.

Think about it next time you see a dog eating its own ... youknowwhat. Also, next time you feed your pet, ask precious if he or she would like a side salad with that bowl of left-over animal parts.


Friday, July 28, 2006

History Detectives

A good percentage of people reading this blog have parents who served in the military during World War II, Korea or Vietnam.

You may not know it, but you have access to your loved ones military records. It's a free public search. At the same site you can also find the rolls of those who fled the Irish famine in the 1800s, lists of combat air missions to Vietnam and photos of various natural and manmade disasters.

You have 85 million documents in 475 files from 30 federal agencies from which to search. Type in your last night and you might find something interesting.

Start your engines here.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

What Floats Your Boat?

... Just returned yesterday from a lovely float, on the hottest day of the year, on one of Missouri's favorite canoeing and rafting streams. Outside temperature: 101 degrees.

Since many of my friends who didn't go on the trip were probably at home, and quite possibly reading their hometown Sunday newspaper, I'd just like to make clear that I did NOT see any sex, I did see LOTS of beer, and I will confirm the headline writer's suspicions that these rivers also have lots of boats.

Maybe I'm just floating the wrong streams?

And I'm no novice: In the past 20 or so years I've canoed on five different rivers in Missouri covering about 100 miles of various stretches of these streams.

However, I should note that this story was reported on based on people who hang out on the river on Saturdays and holidays, and we floated on a Sunday. In fact, I'm very careful NOT to float on Saturdays.

Why? I won't (and can't) float on Saturdays for medical reasons: I'm allergic to large numbers of people in bathing suits who do not have gym memberships. I'm also allergic to boom boxes that can only play Jethro Tull 8-tracks.

Not So Happy Anniversary

Consider this from Frank Rich's Sunday column in the New York Times. Headline: "The Passion of the Embryos":
How time flies when democracy is on the march in the Middle East! Five whole years have passed since ominous Qaeda chatter reached its pre-9/11 fever pitch, culminating in the President’s Daily Brief of Aug. 6, 2001: “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.”

History has since condemned President Bush for ignoring that intelligence. But to say that he did nothing that summer is a bum rap. Just three days later, on Aug. 9, he took a break from clearing brush in Crawford to reveal the real priority of his presidency, which had nothing to do with a nuisance like terrorism. His first prime-time address after more than six months in office was devoted to embryonic stem-cell research instead. Placing his profound religious convictions above the pagan narcissism of Americans hoping for cures to diseases like Parkinson’s and diabetes, he decreed restrictions to shackle the advance of medical science.
... Maybe Bush would not have ignored the memo had the headline been, "Bin Laden Determined to Let The Gays Marry" or "Bin Laden Determined to Disconnect Terry Schiavo's Feeding Tube."

We'll never know for sure.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Breaking News: Earth Revolves Around Sun

Earlier this summer, Sen. Orrin Hatch, the conservative republican from Utah, said with a straight face on the Senate floor that the most important thing the Senate could be doing at this time was debating the flag burning amendment.

Two days ago, on CBS Sunday Morning, Hatch did a video essay (in the slot usually reserved for Nancy Giles or Ben Steins) that made me do a spit-take of my morning Sumatra blend.

In the essay Hatch compared opponents of stem cell research to the same people who persecuted Galileo because of his beliefs about heliocentrism. Just as it took decades and, in some camps, even centuries for Galileo to be vindicated, Hatch argued that one day those arguing against stem cell research will look as silly as those arguing against a sun-centered solar system.

Needless to say, fellow conservatives and conservative bloggers have already started an attack on Hatch for this radical belief.

So, in honor of Orrin Hatch, go buy one of his CD's, OK? He's not just a Senator, dontyouknow, but also a singer and songwriter.

And, if those internet rumors are true, I hear he can make a mean mojito, too.

St. Louis is on Mitchell's Radar Screen

OK: one last storm post, and we briefly resume Storm Watch 2006: St. Louis On the Brink.

CBS News, the national network, actually sent a reporter to cover the St. Louis storms. They aired a report yesterday, four days after the biggest storm hit.

As we've discussed before, if these storms had hit the East Coast or a media capital, it would have been much bigger news. Like CBS news, the networks would actually have sent correspondents to cover the story, as opposed to relying on the news wires and local affiliates.

Why do you think that the weekend edition of the CBS Evening News sent a reporter? Here's a hint.

Russ Mitchell, the hugely talented anchor for the weekend edition, used to live in St. Louis. He turned down network jobs when he was here until he was finally lured away with a package he couldn't say no to.

CBS said this was "big enough news to actually send a reporter to cover" probably because Russ Mitchell had a say in it. Russ knows St. Louis isn't just a place to fly-over between New York and LA. It's a great city, and half a million households (translating into maybe 1.2 million people affected) without power during a heat wave is a significant story.

Thanks Russ.

Look for the video report here:

Current Events

Good news: My power is back on. Bad news: There are still 200,000 households without power in St. Louis.

If there is an average of 2 or 3 people in each of these households, that's still as many as 600,000 people who aren't able to watch Big Brother 7 on their home televisions.

Maybe they're the lucky ones?

Please note that this post now officially concludes Storm Watch 2006: St. Louis on the Brink coverage from all of us here at The Cup of Joe.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming:

Friday, July 21, 2006

Running on Empty

... Drove past six gas stations this morning in west St. Louis and southwest St. Louis before I found one with electricity that was open to sell gas.

Paying $3.10 for a gallon of gas never felt better.

And, proving that people are basically good, the station only charged 50 cents for a bottle of water.

Oh, and more homes just lost electricity in my neighborhood around 20 minutes ago.

Calling Tucker Carlson

The New York Times says the St. Louis storms are actually news. Page A12 Today:

It's now offically OK for the national cable networks to mention.

Fun Without Electricity

Anybody want to play checkers?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

No Score on the Power Play

More than 24 hours after the storm that hit St. Louis, nearly all the traffic lights on a long stretch of Kingshighway, one of the city's major north-south thoroughfares, are not working. It's a similar situation at major intersections such as Hampton and Chippewa.

What this might mean: power service for individual customers could take a long while to fix.

Street lights without electricity present a public hazard that I would guess is deemed a higher priority than individual residences.

The fact that many street lights aren't working is an indication that there is still lots of very high priority work that needs to be done first, such as senior centers and hospitals. (Fortunately, all hospitals have backup generators.)

Prediction: There will still be people without power one week from today. I hope it's not me.

Blip. Blip. Blip.

St. Louis is now officially in a "state of emergency," and the city has been declared a disaster area because of yesterday's storms, the first time this has happened in many years.

If half a million people were without power in New York City on a day when the heat index was 113 in Manhattan, you'd bet this would merit more than just a passing mention on CNN, MSNBC and Fox News Channel. Reporters would be screaming "blackout" all over the TV.

The St. Louis storm, however, is a mere blip on the national media radar screen. This news isn't even in the Top 20 of U.S. stories in terms of media coverage, according to the U.S. News portion of the Google News website, which tracks what media outlets are paying attention to what stories.

Maybe it'd be bigger news if the Runaway Bride had been caught in the storm.

The View from My Trash Can

With power out for more than 12 hours now, perishable items that weren't evacuated from the fridge last night are no longer good to eat.

Goodbye, Hormel microwave bacon. I hardly knew ya.

The Great Bradford Pear Tree Massacre

Sometime in the 1980s, some Harold Hill-like character must have spent a few weeks in St. Louis selling neither monorails nor musical instruments but rather The Bradford Pear Tree.

Although the state tree of Missouri is the dogwood, the unofficial "city tree" for St. Louis has to be the Bradford. They are all over the place. Everywhere.

Cherokee Street Antique Row, for example, has scores of these trees planted in the grassy area between the sidewalk and the street.

What people didn't know when all these trees were planted, both at private residences and by the city in various parks, is that The Bradford Pear doesn't have a long life span. The tree is brittle, and they're prone to insects and disease, too, after branches break off.

Needless to say, the 80 mph winds that blew through St. Louis did quite a number on all these Bradford Pears. You can't travel a single block without seeing either a downed tree or at least a downed limb.

July 19, 2006: The Great Bradford Pear Massacre in St. Louis.

Oh, and for those who don't know: These trees don't bear fruit. There are no pears on a Bradford Pear Tree.

Worst. Tree. Ever.

Power to the People

Is your glass half full or half empty?

Despite some snarky posts on this blog, in my personal life I've always tended to see the glass as half full.

In the past my college friends and I have discussed the question, "Are people basically good or basically bad?"

My friend "The Machine" and I vote that "people are basically good," "Frenchy" says people are rotten, and Bobby M says people are neither good nor bad, but basically just selfish and self-centered. These are all really bright people, and we just disagree about this facet of human nature.

With this in mind, here's a glass-half-full thought for the 500,000 St. Louisans (the majority of whom I think are basically good people) without power: Think about how much cheaper your electrical bill will be this month.

Peace out!

Oh, one more note: According to the urban dictionary, "peace out" can either mean "fu-k off" or "goodbye." It can also mean either "to leave" or "to kill."

I guess it depends on whether your glass is half full or half empty.

Seacrest out!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

St. Louis Storms

More than 350,000 are without power in Missouri, and I'm one of them. Thankfully, just a mile away, Wally is fully with power, so I've packed up my freezer and headed here for the evening.

We were at Ronnies Cinema in South County when, after the third or fourth disruption of power during a screening of Superman Returns, we were informed the theater was closing for the night because of the thunderstorms and power outages, and that we should all go home.

There are lots of trees and branches down in my neighborhood on the South Side. A Category 1 hurricane has winds between 74 and 95 mph, so this storm was the equivalent.

The sidestreet I'd usually take to get to Wally's house wasn't an option because of the downed trees. It's a mess out there right now.

Let's hope the power gets back on soon, particularly for those elderly people who need air conditioning. The high temperature tomorrow is supposed to be 101 degrees.

Everybody OK?

Magic Fingers

Watch below as George Bush gives the German Chancellor a backrub. I wish that I was making this up.

Keep in mind that German leader Angela Merkel has a doctorate in physics and is an expert in quantum chemistry. Among her writings, she is the scholar behind articles such as this: "Evaluation of the rate constant for the SN2 reaction fluoromethane + hydride: methane + fluoride in the gas phase" in the Journal of American Chemical Society.

She also is the first leader for the unified country from the former East Germany.

I wonder if living on the wrong side of the Berlin Wall for all those years was ever as uncomfortable as this moment?

The New Mainstream Media

The Wall Street Journal will begin selling ads on its front page in September. LINK.

Personally, I find this a little hard to swallow, which is why I would spend my advertising dollar on a "media outlet" that should have more readers than the Wall Street Journal.

Here's hoping your day is sunny side up.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

People Who Overuse "The Slippery Slope" Argument Can Be Kind of Oily

Here's something to do with your morning cup of coffee today: Go to the google news site,, and type in the phrase "slippery slope." Sort it by date to get the most recent stories. There were close to 1,500 media stories with this phrase just this morning.

Politicians and business leaders and religious zealots use the "slippery slope" argument to worry and scare people about all sorts of things. The reasoning goes something along these lines: We can't possibly do [A] because if we do, it will lead to many, many, many more disastrous things, including [B], [C] and [D].

It's basically the politics of fear. And it's used by liberals and conservatives all the time, depending on the issue. A conservative will say we can't have gay marriage because the next logical step is humans marrying animals. Liberals use it for equally specious claims.

So, this morning, let's take a trip on the slipperly slope. Enjoy the ride!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

For Pete's Sake


Amazing Race 10

The teams were announced this weekend.

Although Lance Bass is not competing, he's on his own amazing race this summer. And it's not to the moon.

How to Drink Coffee

From today's CBS Sunday Morning. Get edu-macated HERE.

Strangers With Florrie

Check out the real-life inspiration for Amy Sedaris' Strangers With Candy character (right) by watching some real videos of Florrie Fisher HERE or by clicking below. Don't miss the last-minute of the second video when she goes on a rant about how marijuana sticks will cause you to commit murders; of course, she speaks with a lit cigarette in her hand. She also touches on the dangers of smoking oreganno.

I've embedded the first video below:

And here's the second video:

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Hot Dogs for Homophobes

From Thursday night's Late Night With Conan O'Brien:

Pee-wee Making a Comeback

Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman) made appearances on both The Late Show with David Letterman and on Late Night With Conan O'Brien this week. He told both Dave and Conan that he has just finished a script for new Pee Wee movie. And the Cartoon Network is going to start showing his old Saturday morning show, Pee-wee's Playhouse.

Reubens, by the way, will turn 54 next month. If you saw either show this week, you'd probably agree that he doesn't look it.

Here's an old clip of Pee-wee on Dave's NBC show back in 1984.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Burger King: The Movie

Advertising Age is reporting that the creative team behind Burger King advertising is penning a movie version featuring the BK mascot.

It's not clear, yet, whether they're going for a tragedy (like King Lear), a drama (Lion in Winter), an epic fantasy (Return of the King) or something more along the lines of Brokeback Mountain, in which the King could play ... a Queen.

Please, no tent jokes about the King slapping meat between the buns. Please.

Thanking you, in advance.

Johnny Cash: American Recordings V

I don't think my friend Bobby M will like the new Johnny Cash album, American Recordings V: A Hundred Highways, and he's a big Cash fan. I've listened to it three or four times since it arrived via Amazon earlier in the week.

I say this because Bobby wasn't a huge fan of American Recordings 4: The Man Comes Around, calling this album (recorded before the death of his wife, June) a mixed bagged because Cash really strains at times on some of the vocals.

Now, I've listened to AR4 dozens of times, and I completely disagree.

Consider three songs from the earlier record:

* His cover of "Hurt" from the Nine Inch Nails was an instant classic.
* His original song "Give My Love to Rose" won a grammy.
* Listen to his cover of First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, and you'll think this is the first time you've ever really heard this song, though everybody from Celine Dion to 98 Degrees have done versions.

This last song (like songs on his new album) is a love poem to his wife. Listen to it carefully, and then think about a guy singing this way about his wife after 35 years of marriage. It's beautiful, and it's touching, and it's made all the more perfect by the imperfections in Cash's voice. The orchestration, which turns the song into a hymn, celebrates a marriage that is clearly sacred to Johnny. Perfection.

Back to his new album. Producer Rick Rubin writes this in his liner notes:
I could always tell how Johnny was feeling each day from the sound of his voice and his breathing. Some days his voice was weak and he sounded like he was panting, trying to get enough air. Other days his voice boomed with power and gravity. You can hear the difference on some of these songs. Sometimes he booms and other times he sounds weaker and more vulnerable, but in the end his ability to convey words in a way the listener can truly feel and believe them is amazingly consistent. He was the master storyteller of our time.
His cover of the Hank Williams song "On the Evening Train," track 6 on the album, is one of the songs where his voice booms. It's a song about a man whose wife has just died, and the child she leaves behind. This is a highlight of American Recordings 5.

I almost did a spit-take when I heard that track 4 was a cover of Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind," perhaps most recently in memory because of the dance version in the late 90s from Stars on 54. Vocally, it's the worst song on the album; but it's also one of my three or four favorites. Johnny Cash isn't and has never been about vocal perfection; he's about story-telling and communicating honest emotions. I like this song; but many people (like Bobby M) may just think it's terrible.

I just hope that producer Rick Rubin doesn't jump the shark on his next Cash album and, yes, there will be another new album coming possibly next year. Seinfeld left the air when it was still at the top of its game, but M*A*S*H (and the dreadful After M*A*S*H) hung around more than a little too long. Will American Recordings 6 be a final great album, or a pitiful attempt to squeeze even more money out of the American Recordings franchise?

Oh, and if you are looking for the single artist performing today who combines folk, country, rock and great songwriting and story-telling in the same way as Cash, check out Tom Russell's new album, Love and Fear. It's probably his best-ever work. Though you are warned: Tom never really found his June Carter, and you don't need to be Stephen Hawking to figure this out after listening to Love and Fear.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Fox News and The Daily Show

Is the Fox News Channel thinking about doing a "conservative" counterpart to Comedy Central's The Daily Show. Read more here.

Here's why I don't think it'll work:

* The Daily Show makes fun of both parties. (Even today, you can still expect Bill and Hillary Clinton jokes and, more recently, Al Gore jokes.) It just happens that the people in power now (and hence the people doing the most absurd things) are Republicans, so they're the target of a good amount of the jokes. This is to be expected.

* The Daily Show (and The Colbert Report) are funny because they're a satire of the media: the self-important news correspondents, the screaming-head pundits, the gross over-simplification of complex issues, ect ect. Will this be funny if Fox did it? Or will they even do it? Why would Fox make fun of the media when they are the media?

Question of the day: Watch below, and can't you just see Samantha Bee TOTALLY fitting in as a Dateline NBC correspondent?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The Only Sport I Could Medal In

As I write this, M. Sheffield, co-founder of -- a hate-based site against Dan Rather -- is on Tucker Carlson's MSNBC show continuing to beat the dead horse that "Dan Rather is a biased liberal."

But if you go to, you'll notice that (as of right now) the domain name has expired. The error message you get is: "This domain name expired on 06/21/2006 and is pending renewal or deletion."

I tried to be a wise guy and re-register it myself, but with no luck. I was going to give the rights to this URL back to Dan Rather as a "retirement from CBS" gift, and as a thank you for all those entertaining and folksy Texas phrases from all those election nights. ("That race is tighter than the rusted lug nuts on a '55 Ford.")

This is what MSNBC is spending airtime on? Bashing Dan Rather some more? Could they cover some real news? Please?

Hey Tucker: There is a war going on, dontyouknow.

Es Verdad

Hey, you. Yeah, you: Guy with the W '04 sticker driving the Red Mustang down Hanley. The election is over. Your guy won. Yeah, and the "a-word" is still legal, and even more people hate America now than they did two years ago. Oh, and if you missed the memo, Mexican immigants working low-wage jobs for wealthy firms are now, officially, "the new gays"; they should be able to help you muster up a bunch of votes come November. In fact, they threaten your job as much as the Gays threaten your own profoundly unhappy marriage to your wife.

Just wanted to give you an update.

Add Joy to Your Life By Watching This

My favorite part is about 1 minute and 21 seconds in. Please note that this video is the first-ever FDA-approved treatment for people who suffer from chronic wistfulness.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Baseball the Way it Ought to Be

With apologies to my friend Double R, a Cards season ticket holder whose birthday is today, but I haven't enjoyed a sporting event more than when I recently caught a Gateway Grizzlies game over on the other side of the river. Right in the front row, thanks to Timmy. We're talking Frontier League here, where many of the ballplayers might also have second (or third) jobs on the side.

Seriously. Check them out some time.

The parking is free. The beer is affordable. And the chicken sandwiches from Chick-fil-A are delicious.

Why I Hate Collingswood, New Jersey

... Cause this berg stole the "El Train" and "T. Roar" from "the Lou."

Other than this lingering resentment, this really is a charming town in South Jersey and a great place to visit. And I rarely say this about places that don't allow alcohol sales.

Enjoy those deck fireflies, boys, as the sun kisses the lake tonight. Here's wishing you only cool breezes ...

News for Fellow Travelers

For the next time you book a flight:

Still in beta: This site currently only serves Boston and Seattle, but you can request they add St. Louis sooner rather than later by visiting the site.

And if you use Hotline or Priceline, the bidding doesn't have to be blind:

Happy travels. Especially you, Peaches.

Monday, July 10, 2006

George is no George

"Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.'"
-- George W. Bush.

Now compare this with the modesty of George Washington.

Laughing Yoga

As my friends know, I practice Yoga once a week, sometimes practicing Coffee Yoga. Here's a new type of yoga, Laughing Yoga, I'd like to share with y'all.

If you do nothing else today, just spend 1 minute and 12 seconds to watch this! It'll make you one happy baby.

People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive

It's Matthew McConaughey this year.

With apologies to our friend Wally, who is a big fan of McConaughey's talents, I think he was given the honor before his recent vacation in Costa Rica.

I also wonder if Wally knows that his lover knows that he keeps a well-thumbed copy of this issue under his mattress?

There just aint no foolin' Wally's lover.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

CBS Sunday Morning

I've watched this show for years, from when Charles Kuralt was the host (and I was a nerdy kid watching a news show instead of cartoons), until today, with Charles Osgood hosting (and I'm a nerdy adult watching a news show instead of Fox News Channel).

I think this show is consistently the best news magazine on TV, mixing culture, pop culture, trends, celebrity profiles, movie and music criticism, opinion segments (Mo Rocca did his first essay a few weeks ago) and (of course) real news. It's worth tivo-ing.

They did a story on blogging this morning.

A source in the piece describes people who read blogs this way:
"Cause the people who are reading blogs tend to be opinion leaders and they tend to be trendsetters. So they are influential far out of proportion to what their numbers are," Darr says.
Pat yourselves on the back, my friends.

But for all those English majors I know: Where's your blog?

Saturday, July 08, 2006

You had a bad day?

Click here.


Are you scared yet?

The Cup of Joe Announces
Corporate Sponsorship

We here at The Cup of Joe are pleased to announce this afternoon the first of several corporate sponsors who will be joining our team.

Starting soon, all 32 metro-area locations of Melanoma Tan® will be advertising as the official corporate sponsor of The Cup of Joe.

Please remember and be mindful of the Melanoma Tan corporate pledge: If you get cancer, all future tans are yours at half price. (excluding Level 5 machines, tanning accessories and spray tanning.)

Moreover, all during July any customer who can display a suspicious lesion to a Melanoma Tan tanning consultant is entitled to unlimited tanning in any Level III bed.

And we're also delighted to announce that Melanoma Tan will soon open dermatopathology labs at each of its 32 metro-area locations, so our patients and customers can get suspicious lesions biopsied "while they tan." No waiting, no fuss, and no worry!

Please patronize our sponsors.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

My Declaration to the World

I'm never getting married!

No, I mean I'm really never getting married.

Weapons of Mass Persuasion

Go back, my dear friends at MSNBC, and rewatch your initial reporting from yesterday on the death of Ken Lay. At least for the first 15-minute "breaking news" segment I saw early in the day, it was close to hagiogrophy. (The news reader/ anchor kept uncritically reporting various praise for Lay by the minister of his church and others, droning on about his charitable giving when we all know the courts recently convicted him of acts that have ruined the lives and savings of countless people, "acts of charity" I don't think Jesus would approve of.)

If I had lost my retirement savings or my job because of this man, I'm not sure I could have stomached the MSNBC coverage. (I didn't even bother flipping to Fox.)

Speaking of hitting the rewind buttons, here's a fun "thing to do when there's nothing to do" for employees at all the major news networks: replay (for the entire newsroom) two or three hours of your coverage of the War in Iraq from several years ago.

Let's just throw out, totally at random, 7 to 10 p.m. March 22, 2003, as the time to rewatch. Did your talking head pundits uncritically accept the Republican talkings points about the war? Were you more like cheerleaders, or like reporters? Are you still wearing your American flag lapel pins? Are you embarrassed about some of the scrolling graphics, and your drama-infused "beating the drums of war" theme jingles?

... Not that there's anything wrong with American flag lapel pins.

New York Times: I'm Not Riding Their Love Boat When They Ignore Corrections

Quick trivia: In the original The Poseidon Adventure, Gene Hackman plays a preacher. What religious denomination was he?

I'm not sure it's ever specifically addressed in the movie other than establishing him as a "generic protestant minister," but I know it's NOT Roman Catholic. (Most Catholic priests I know don't wear turtle necks; to some, it's actually considered a mortal sin.) In the movie he's called a "Rev." by the other characters (not Fr.), preaches "sermons" (not homilies) and is referred to as a minister (not priest).

In a New York Times story back in November, Hackman's character (the Rev. Frank Scott) is described by writer Alessandra Stanley as "the take-charge Roman Catholic priest." We here at The Cup of Joe emailed the corrections desk about the mistake, but they never corrected it. Months later, you can still read her (uncorrected) story here. You can read criticism from Gawker about Stanley's past errors here.

I always thought the Times was pretty conscientious about correcting mistakes. If they incorrectly reported, say, the length of Dick Cheney's nose hairs, or how many heart attacks he had this morning between 9 and 10 a.m., or if they JudyMillered America into believing something about the War in Iraq just a smidgen more significant than Rev. Scott's religious preferences, you can bet they'd correct it eventually.

What does a guy have to do to get a correction around here??? Sounds like a job for Mr. Rogo.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

A Fourth of July Rumination

Sometimes, the recipe for success is simple. For example, Warren Buffett has a simple philosophy for living his life and a simple formula for wealth accumulation, and these have made him a billionaire many times over. Southwest Airlines has a simple formula for success, too -- treat your employees well -- and it has worked very well for this airline.

I've always tried to live my life by a set a very simple rules, and they've served me well. They are:

1) No loud talking.
2) No foul language.
3) No fireworks.

However, because this is the Fourth of July, we are going to take a fucking one-day reprieve. I am soo fucking going to be blowing off fucking bottle rockets tonight. And in a big fucking way!!!!

Happy Birthday America!
You are one mean fucker!!!

Please, Worried Americans, Try to Relax!

Many Americans are worried, nervous and flustered over the presidential elections in Mexico, spurring much discussion over the family dinner table and around the water cooler at work. This sort of nervous and anxious buzz hasn't been felt here in the United States since Taylor Hicks pulled off a dramatic upset win over Katherine McPhee in American Idol!

Will the winner be Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, the fiery leftist and champion of the poor? Or will it be Felipe Calderon, the pro-business-conservative and choice of the current president Vicente Fox?

I know, I know: You can't wait to find out. Well, here's my advice to all "mis amigos" out there reading this. Take a day off from the worry!
Light a candle. Draw a bubble bath. Relax and remember: This is a big day for all 'Mericans, so please enjoy it.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

A Public Apology

This is for all those who I may have phoned during the Madonna concert in Chicago and left a "woooooooooooooooooooo" or "woooooooooooooooo-hooooooooooooooooooooo" message. I'm sorry.

I understand if you decide otherwise, but I hope we can still be friends.

Below is some video of the opening of the concert. The first clip is the beginning of the concert when a concealed Madonna was lowered in a disco ball to a small walk-out center stage in the middle of concert floor. Song: "Justify My Love."


The second is her great song "Sorry," also off her new album Confessions on a Dance Floor. The best part is when 47-year-old Madonna leaps from a platform and starts riding a dancer like he's her favorite pony. (The jumbotron, by the way, had video of horses running going through the song.) We haven't heard this all before, and it was pretty cool.

Oh, and one more thing: woooooooooooooo-hooooooooo.

Can You Spare Two Minutes
and 38 Seconds Today?

This is for "if you are blue" and you don't know where to go. Well, go to the bathroom first, and then watch.