World's Best Boyfriend

My lover Wally is a cog in corporate America middle management.

Because of this, he prefers to be communicated with (90 percent of the time) using only Powerpoint presentations.

He's a lot like my friend Timmy in this regard, who never communicates anything without the aid of a Powerpoint. This includes all facets of Timmy's life, including proposing marriage and wishing his wife a Happy Valentine's Day. Timmy even uses Powerpoint presentations when communicating his "I love you" talking points to his little girl.

"It's the best way I can communicate a consistent I Love You branding message for my little lady," Timmy tells me.

When Wally got home from work on Friday, of course I had dinner and his nightly Powerpoint ready for him the moment he arrived. The slide is below. I think my presentation went very well.

!Que Romantica!

You may have read in previous posts about my friend Timmy Two-Shirts, the corporate VP who will one day be able to buy and sell all I hold dear, and a man who is only able to communicate using Powerpoint presentations. It's how he proposed to his wife. It's how he wishes his daughter happy birthday and how he sends his love on father's day.

With Valentine's Day coming up, I was able to help Timmy with how to best apply his "2/14 branding and messaging strategy" to his "primary target market," whom he also refers to as his wife. I've taken the liberty of reproducing the slide at right, in case any readers of this blog would like to use this same data for any potential Powerpoint presentations for the lover in your life this Valentine's Day.

But ssshhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell Timmy's wife. This is supposed to be a surprise

His Points Are Powerful

It's been some time since I've mentioned on this blog my friend Timmy Two-Shirts, the corporate VP whom, I predict, one day will be able to buy and sell me (and all I hold dear) many times over.

Timmy is as quick as a whip when it comes to business, but he's incapable of communicating anything unless it's in the form of a Powerpoint presentation. For example, when he asks his secretary for a cup of coffee in the morning, he uses a Powerpoint slide.

Years ago, when he asked his girlfriend to marry him (she said yes), he used a Powerpoint presentation. When he lets his little girl know how much he loves her on Father's Day, he uses a Powerpoint presentation.

It's amazing what the smartest minds in business can communicate when they really give their Powerpoint presentations real thought.

I bet his wife can't wait for Valentine's Day.

***

Best Dad in the Whole Wide World

You may have read, in a previous post here at The Cup of Joe, about my friend Timmy Two Shirts, the corporate VP who one day will be able to buy and sell everything I hold dear. Timmy, as you may recall, can only communicate in Powerpoint Presentations, whether he is asking his secretary for a cup of coffee or proposing to his then-girlfriend over a romantical I-talian dinner.

Well, you can add another title for Timmy in addition to his role as a powerful corporate V.P.: "Best Dad in the World."

At right is Timmy's powerpoint message of love to his beautiful daughter, approaching two years of age now, from this past Sunday, Father's day.

Great job, Timmy!

"Timmy Two Shirt's" Marriage Proposal By Powerpoint

As I mentioned in my last entry, my friend "Timmy Two Shirts," the corporate VP who will one day be able to buy and sell everything I hold dear, prefers to communicate everything in powerpoint presentations. This includes even simple queries from his secretary regarding how he likes his coffee prepared.

I think Timmy may be on to something. He has a beautiful wife and absolutely adorable daughter, and it was all made possible by this powerpoint slide that he shared with his then-girlfriend over a romantical dinner at St. Louis' finest I-talian restaurant.

Global Warming Movie From Al Gore Can't Melt Ice Princess

We here at The Cup of Joe finally got a chance to see the Al Gore movie "An Inconvenient Truth" last night. We saw the movie with our dear friend Elgy, who has been known in the past to sport right-wing political yards signs in her front yard, and her brother, "Timmy Two-Shirts," a corporate V.P. who, I predict, will be able to buy and sell me (and all I hold dear) in just a few short years. Also in attendance was our dear friend Wally.

Our friend Elgy, who actually voted for Al Gore, was lukewarm about the movie. She thought it was too long, and too political.

I don't think I agree. Now, don't get me wrong. I hate powerpoint presentations. I think corporate America has totally forgotten how to communicate during meetings, and everything nowadays is a powerpoint presentation. In fact, I'm sure Timmy Two shirt's secretary doesn't ask Timmy how he wants his coffee in the morning because Timmy prefers all communication to be in the form of a powerpoint presentation. (See sample slide from 05/04/2005 above.)

Back to the movie. As I mentioned, I saw the movie with my dear friend Elgy. Now, I'm not calling Elgy an ice princess, but I also saw Forrest Gump and some other sentimental movies with her and her reaction was sort of like that flat line on the monitor when someone goes into shock and dies in an Emergency Room.

I thought the movie was superb and, well, chilling. And though Al Gore has denied in a New York Times article that he is running for president, how else could he really effect more change on this issue: as president of the United States or delivering a powerpoint presentation to students around the world?

Run, Forrest, Run!