Tuesday, December 09, 2008
What an idiot, eh? Here's the Department of Justice press release.
MSNBC, by the way, cut away from the fascinating DOJ press conference, featuring a couple completely quotable prosecutors, to go live to an NBC press conference featuring the big Jay Leno announcement, which already had been all over the front page of today's New York Times and other outlets many hours earlier.
Kind of idiotic, eh?
Monday, December 01, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Where's the proposition banning heterosexual divorce?
UPDATE: Good news for Ellen and 17,999 others.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Sunday, November 02, 2008
No. I don't think she'll win the election; in fact, I think she is costing John McCain votes. A lot of them.
Nor do I think she is necessarily eyeing a run for president in 2012. This probably isn't her first option, nor her best.
I think she's looking to cash in.
I expect that sometime in the next four years she will pursue or be presented with a syndicated talk show opportunity, on radio or TV. Think of her as a female Rush Limbaugh, an Oprah for conservatives. (Limbaugh made a reported $33 million last year.) Sure, a lot of people hate her, including a segment of moderate Republicans. But a niche of people absolutely love her.
She'll make millions.
She could even replace Elisabeth Hasslebeck on The View, or join Elisabeth on some new syndicated show for conservative soccer moms and Jane the Plumber.
On Tuesday, Barack Obama will become the next president of the United States, inheriting all the messes from Bush the Lesser. What he faces won't be easy.
But Sarah Palin? Sometime in the next four years, if she chooses this path, she'll be a filthy rich celebrity.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
A recent John McCain TV spot took me back to these times because the ad made me think of a Dukakis commercial from way back when. The Dukakis commercial, embedded below, is esoteric. It pictures politicians in a smoke-filled room talking about Dan Quayle. Just terrible. This didn't resonate with anyone.
I thought of this terrible Dukakis ad this week when McCain came out with the below ad. This, too, is esoteric, and won't change anyone's mind, and might also just confuse people. It's lame. It's all about Joe the Plumber, the Hero McCain is still harping on even though "Sam the Plumber" hasn't exactly passed the scratch-and-sniff bullshit detector tests with flying colors.
I'd also like to say, just for the record, that unlike the people in this video, I am NOT Joe the plumber. I owe no back taxes, I'm not a Republican plant, my taxes would go down under Barack Obama, I would not enjoy being a media whore, and my real first name is Joe.
Friday, October 24, 2008
1. Linda Lavin from Alice turned 71 this month.
2. Linda Lavin is a year younger than John McCain.
3. John McCain reminds me of Mel.
Here's what she had to say. (Click to embiggen.)
Although I admire this spirit of optimism, it's also the same spirit that has me regretting that I didn't switch all the money in my 401K plan from stocks into something more stable, say a tangible physical commodity. Like Kitty Litter, dirty diapers or recycled animal feces "repurposed" as fertilizer.
This week the stock market again reached the LOWEST LEVELS EVER.
It's a reminder for people like our Fortune Friend pictured above that fearlessness sometimes leads to recklessness, and then we all lose.
Failure is an option, my friends. This is why we need to keep hope alive.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Sad for McCain. One reaps what one sows.
Sad for the woman who said this. Don't most of us have an ignorant relative or acquaintance (or maybe even friend) who would say the same thing? Can she help it if she gets all her news from Fox and believes everything read from a teleprompter and insinuated during a Sarah Palin stump speech?
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Roger Ebert is one terrific writer. I've long admired his reviews, which I'd call "essays" rather than reviews since they're so much more insightful than your typical movie criticism.
Check out his non-political V.P debate analysis here. He works in some Fargo references that are just golden as he ponders whether Sarah Palin is more like police officer Marge Gunderson or car salesman Jerry Lundegaard.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Perhaps he is hopped up on goofballs.
Two quick reactions about her debate performance:
* She ripped the mainstream media in her closing remarks, but it should be pointed out that it wasn't the mainstream media who gave incoherent answers during the Katie Couric interviews, it was she herself. And she still hasn't had a press conference, because she knows it will expose her serious lack of depth.
* Her answer about expanding the powers of the vice presidency "with a bit more authority" based on the constition was baffling, incoherent and a little scary.
"I'm thankful the Constitution would allow a bit more authority given to the vice president also if that vice president so chose to exert it in working with the Senate and making sure that we are supportive of the president's policies and making sure too that our president understands what our strengths are."
That's an exact quote. Decoder wheel not included.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Be very careful, people.
Expectations are now so low that if she is "mediocre" or "mediocre to bad" instead of just "bad," the pundits will declare her the winner.
This is exactly what the McCain camp wants: lowever expectations.
So be very careful people. I have no doubt, in the format of this particular debate, in Palin's ability to 1) recite lines 2) inspire populist glee among a certain segment of fundamentalists and 3) look sexy.
She did it during the interview portion of the Miss Alaska competition, and she can do so, perhaps even skillfully, here as well.
1. Please explain the significance of Marbury v. Madison in American judicial history.
2. Compare and contrast lip stick with lip gloss.
3. If you had to choose between terrific smelling hair and hair that had the type of volume that would be the envy of the entire Wasilla City Council, which would you choose?
4. Among the following three choices, separate the sit-com from the infamous Supreme Court decisions: Plessy v. Ferguson. Bush v. Gore. Golden Girls.
5. Which Golden Girl do you think most resembles John McCain?
But don't underestimate Sarah Palin, cause I know she has some tricks up her sleeve for tonight's debate, like:
* Vasoline on the teeth is a terrific way to make the smile brighter.
* Lightly heating the eyelash curler with a hair dryer is a great way to make the eyelash curl last!
* Lipstick, lipstick, lipstick.
Monday, September 29, 2008
The below quote, emailed by a reader, is from an AP story on the economic bailout failure. "It just drives home the differing STRATEEGERIES of the two candidates," the reader wrote.
Within an hour of the House defeating the bill, Obama sought to calm fears by saying: "I'm confident we're going to get there, but it's going to be rocky." McCain issued a statement from senior policy adviser Doug Holtz-Eakin that blamed Obama and Democrats for the legislation's failure — even though more Republicans than Democrats voted against it.
I dunno about you, but I think you take the measure of a man not during good times but during terrible times. This is when people show you who they truly are. Would you want to work for someone who pointed fingers during a time of crisis rather than focusing on the immediate issue at hand? (I've been around people like this before, and it's dreadful, and these people are usually the biggest bonehead in any organization.)
And would you want such a person to lead the free world?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
In the last year AIG stock traded for as high as $70 a share. It's trading as of right now at $2.99 -- about the price for a gallon of milk.
Last week the stock was trading at a low of $1.25 a share, or about the price (sale price, I should say) of a can of Progresso Rich & Hearty Chicken Pot Pie soup.
So, in advance of this collapse, what were its investors told? I pulled the below from the AIG annual report, which you can read here. We'll just let these words speak for themselves, with no further comment.
One more thing: Forbes listed Sullivan's CEO compensation at $11 million. And when he left the firm earlier this summer, he was reportedly paid out a $47 million severance package. No doubt about it: One could buy quite a lot of Progresso Rich & Hearty Chicken Pot Pie soup (and deflated AIG stock) with that sort of coin.
Heckuva job, Marty.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
1) John McCain suspends his campaign and now doesn't want to debate Obama on Friday and he draws the ire of David Letterman for canceling an appearance and then shows up at the CBS studios for a campaign interview (for the campaign he had just suspended) with Katie Couric instead.
2) The news comes just as Obama surges in the polls and Sarah Palin underwhelms during another Couric interview around the same time as the Palin "protection from witchcraft" Prayer Video surfaces. Meanwhile, bloggers like Andrew Sullivan continue to outshine mainstream media journalists like Couric by exposing serious misgivings regarding Palin's ability to tell the truth.
3) While this is happening, the National Enquirer reports about Palin's alleged marital infidelities (I personally don't give a boo about her personal life, though it would make her a complete hypocrite), and the McCain camp reportedly has suggested that the VP debate next Tuesday be canceled so he and Obama can debate Tuesday in St. Louis rather than Friday in Mississippi, as if four days' difference will give him (one of 100 U.S. Senators) the time to make the economy all better? It definitely does give him four more days to prepare, and Palin lord-knows-how-many-more days to prepare for the, ahem, "rescheduled" debate, if indeed it ever happens.
It makes one wonder.
Someone needs to ferret out some honest truth here. Where's Kitty Carlisle when you need her? Dancing and singing in heaven, I bet, where it no longer matters that her stock portfolio has hit the shitter and a former beauty queen from Alaska with a penchant for mistruths is the potential president-in-waiting behind a 72-year-old two-time melanoma survivor.
Monday, September 22, 2008
1. December 2010: Palin wins Dancing with the Stars
2. March 2017: VH-1 "I Love 2008" special premieres. Palin gets 30-second segment featuring jokes from several comedians I've never heard of, sandwiched between longer segments on Mad Men and Gossip Girl.
3. September 2013: A triumphant Vice President Sarah Palin cuts ribbon to officially open the Bridge to Nowhere and uses the occasion as a call to arms against the excesses of Big Government.
4. July 2009: Palin lands job as host of Trading Spaces, wins Mrs. America contest and unveils her new line of designer lipstick.
5. January 2021: Not having appeared to have aged a single day in the 11 years, 11 months and 4 days she has served as president, President Sarah Palin completes her second full term after having had succeeded the late President John McCain, whose tragic death involving a team of Alaskan sled dogs is still a frequent source of investigative reports and internet blog rumors, despite all assurances to the contrary based on the comprehensive 850-page Palin Report led by Secretary of State Todd Palin.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Watch this vintage Ronald Reagan diatribe against "big government" and Socialized Medicine.
And then think about the $700+ billion bail-out of greedy corporate fat-cats in the financial sector who will be gorging at the public trough because of their alarmingly poor judgment. Socialized Capitalism. Oy.
And it's probably the right thing to do. Oy.
A philosophy that welcomes government largess only for the rich and the powerful and corporations is ... shameful. And it runs counter to everything that conservatism should be.
We could have had national health care for all Americans, like Harry Truman wanted more than half a century ago, for much, much cheaper. Republicans have always opposed it. "There you go again," Reagan told Jimmy Carter in 1980. Oy.
A government that is paying billions a month for an unjust war sold under false pretenses also should run counter to true conservatism as well. The amount of money we've spent in Iraq would have paid for a very sensible and comprehensive national health care plan for all Americans.
Socialized Capitalism and billions of taxpayer money wasted on boondoggle projects appear to be the legacy of eight years of "conservative" rule? If Democrat Warren Buffet saw this coming, how come the Republican administration didn't?
Friday, September 19, 2008
Yes. I think it's very possible. See scenario below. (As always, click to embiggen the map.)
This puts Obama with 274 electoral votes, four more than needed for victory. This is good news, I think, for those of us with legitimate worries regarding both these states. Recall the Florida shenanigans of 2000 (which cost Gore the election) and the Ohio shenanigans of 2004 (which probably cost John Kerry the election). Hours-long voting lines ... uncounted ballots ... malfunctioning voting machines ... improper purging of voters lists. Fie on election officials in both these states! And in a razor-thin election, like both 2000 and 2004, these things are unconscionable.
II. Could Barack Obama lose the electoral vote count and still win the election?
Yes. See below scenario in which McCain gets 267 (to Obama's 264) but doesn't reach the 270 electoral votes to win.
What happens then? The race is kicked to the U.S. House of Representaives, where Democrats should still have the majority. Result: President Barack Obama. (Fun Fact: If you read The Federalist papers, you'll discover that the Founding Fathers pretty much assumed that no candidate would ever win the election in the electoral college and that all presidential elections would normally be decided in the house. What they didn't see coming was the emergence and dominance of American political parties, which they called "factions." The Founders hated "factions."
III. Will this be a close election?
Despite the scary "McCain is leading" poll numbers in recent weeks, I still think if Obama wins, he wins in a landslide, with Bill Clinton-like electoral numbers, as pictured in the below map, wihch is my official PREDICTION MAP. (http://www.electoral-vote.com/ still has Obama losing the electoral college as of today, based on polling.)
And if McCain or Palin really mess up in a debate or two, and if John McCain still keeps acting like this, and Palin keeps making "window into her soul" gaffes like this, then Missouri and North Carolina and Indiana might turn, too.
Keep hope alive, mis amigos.
(Maps generated using the dailykos.com map generator.)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Remember when George Bush wanted to privatize social security? You know, put it in the market. As in the stock market. You know, the market that has rapidly been destroying American wealth all week?
Thank God that never happened.
Remember, too, when George Bush ran for president in 2000 as a "compassionate conservative" who would be a careful, prudent steward of the econony who would not balloon the deficit and who promised a "humble" foreign policy.
No need to thank God, cuz that never happened.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
For your consideration, here are two quotes of the day.
I. "'Sarah Barracuda' -- she's proud of that name now, she uses it in her campaigns," said her former mentor. "But she got that name from the way she conducted herself with her own teammates. She was vicious to the other girls, always playing up to the coach and pointing out when the other girls made mistakes. She was the coach's favorite and he gave her more playing time than her skills warranted. My niece was on her team; she was a very good player. I used to sit there in the stands, and I would wonder, Why on earth is Sarah getting so much playing time?" Source: Salon.com
II. “She’s a child, inexperienced and simplistic,” she [R. D. Levno, a retired school principal] said of Sarah. “It’s taking us back to junior high school. She’s one of the popular girls, but one of the mean girls. She is seductive, but she is invented.” Source: Maureen Dowd writing in today's New York Times.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
It's a good ad, but just exactly who does it win over? It gets people who already support him, like me, to nod their heads. Other than this group, this isn't exactly a water cooler discussion starter. Believe it or not, but that blue collar guy who could put Obama over the top in Virginia doesn't care what Time magazine or any of the other media outlets quoted in the ad think.
Below is an ad from moveon.org. I believe it is that organization's first attack, and I think it's better than the Obama ad.
What's the difference between the two ads? The first ad is more targeted to the head and rational thought processes, and the second ad is targeted to the gut and the heart.
Obama doesn't need to win over thoughtful and rational people -- these well-meaning people (on both sides, by the way) already know who they're voting for. And such an appeal to the intellect didn't do John Kerry, Al Gore or Michael Dukakis much good.
He needs to win over people's passions, touch their hearts, make them laugh, make them mad. He needs to give them something they'll talk about at work the next day or at the family dinner table that night. Has anybody seen this ad so far in the election cycle? I haven't. And if Obama can come up with *that* message, he'll win.
This campaign will be won if Obama is passionate, not if he's dispassionate and professorial.
His passion will win him the election, and his dispassion will make him the president that America deserves.
(Coming later this week: I'll flesh out my earlier passing thoughts on why I think Obama will lose the election if it's close, but if he wins, he'll win big. I still feel this way. More later.)
Saturday, September 13, 2008
At the beginning of the show, Barbera Walters said that John McCain had promised that Sarah Palin will go on The View before the election is over to discuss the issues.
I bet she doesn't.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
"What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick."
-- Sarah Palin, during her GOP convention acceptance speech, borrowing from the old misogynist joke, "What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull."
So what is the difference between Sarah Palin and a pit bull? This is a fair question, and I'd like to tackle the answer as if I were a freshman in high school. A freshman assigned, in his first-semester composition class, to argue the thesis that "Sarah Palin and pit bulls are very different." Here goes:
START OF FRESHMAN ESSAY
Sarah Palin and pit bulls are very different. For example, Sarah Palin wears lipstick, whereas pit bulls, who do not have the requisite oppossable thumbs that would enable them to apply lipstick, do not and cannot wear lipstick.
The differences do not stop here:
Pit bulls don't wear up-'dos and glasses, and don't look like sexy librarians. In fact, pit bulls usually are barred from public libraries and have neither the authority nor the moxie to threaten to fire librarians who refuse to censor books, unlike Sarah Palin.
Pit bulls generally aren't theocrats, as well, and pit bulls do not belong to churches that await the rapture. Pit bulls also are generally against Alaskan secession, according to most reputed published sources, including Wikipedia. Moreover, a pit bull has never been selected as a vice presidential candidate by a major American political party, unlike Sarah Palin, and a pit bull has never been second in the line of succession to the most powerful and demanding job in the world.
Pit bulls also don't have the capacity for speech and human forms of communication, unlike Sarah Palin, who is quite adroit at reading campaign speeches from a teleprompter.
In summary, there are many differences between Sarah Palin and pit bulls. Moreover, whereas an angry pit bull can inspire fear, trepidation and worry in all humans, an angry Sarah Palin only inspires fear, trepidation and worry in liberals, most moderates, Democrats, people with Ph.Ds, people who fear Alaskan secession and John McCain's dermatologist.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
The ninth Commandment: Thou shall not bear false witness ...
I said, thou shall not bear false witness.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
John McCain spoke in front of a green screen when giving his convention speech. So get ready for a bunch of these! Stephen Colbert already had some fun with the same video last week, when he showed McCain speaking in front of a dead guy in a crypt.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Well-written speech. Really. Well-done. A lot of it was complete bullshit, and she didn't mention Bush once, and she mocked Barack Obama's past as a community organizer (how awful), and she continues to mislead on issues such as her "opposition" to pork and the Bridge to Nowhere, but it was delivered well and the person who wrote it did what he needed to do.
But I'm sticking by what I wrote BEFORE all the negative publicity started hitting, about her daughter's pregnancy, about Troopergate, about Alaskan secession, about her Church attendance, about all that.
Small-town America and many others will love her speech. Really. Her Alaskan accent ... her adorable family ... the way she bites down and scrunches her face when she wants to make a tough point. Brilliant.
But could she really be president of the United States? Does she really think, as she stated last night and which has become a Republican talking point, that she has more experience to be president than Joe Biden or Barack Obama? Can she really be a reformer/outsider when the party with her harsh conservative philosophy/worldview has held both the Presidency and Congress for most of the last eight years? Asinine.
Brilliant and Asinine.
I saw most of the speech; in fact, it is continuing as I write this. I'm also spending this time browsing my Rudolph Guiliani "Countdown to Victory" 16-Month 2007-2009 calendar, which I bought for 60 pennies on clearance at Borders earlier this year.
In a post by Andrew Sullivan on the speech, titled "One Very Off Moment," he writes:
The one moment that stays with me tonight, oddly enough, was not Palin's speech. It was a line from Giuliani, a New York mayor with a young second third wife and gay friends, mocking a "cosmopolitan" who was brought up by a single mother. It was that Barack Obama's rise could "only happen in America." And it was designed to mock him, the first African-American candidate for the presidency of the United States.
I won't forget that.
"I don't understand why it is that all of a sudden you can't tell the truth about Barack Obama because some people are getting rained on."
-- An unnamed Republican, complaining about the abbreviated convention schedule on Monday because of fears about Hurricane Gustav.
The Daily Show audience jeered.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Here's wishing all those closeted gay Republicans lots of hot "I'm not gay" gay sex during the Republican convention. You know, the RMSMBWANGs (pronouced Rims-Bwangs).
If the ads on the gay sex web sites are any indication, then it looks like they'll be paying for lots of illegal, hot gay sex. Even though they're not gay. Even though they want to limit the rights for those men who have the audacity to both have sex with men and admit that they are gay, too.
You know that nobody would be making an issue of this if they didn't make an issue of US first.
Speaking of Republicans who hate gays, here's a list of Sarah Palin's gay-hatin' ways. I wish people would leave her daughter alone, but as U.S. Rep. Barney Frank points out, they're the ones who keep harping on family values. So when people "bring it on," why are they so shocked and offended?
Monday, September 01, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
John McCain's pick of Sarah Palin as his running mate is brilliant and asinine.
She is beautiful, well-spoken and likeable. She has a certain "it" factor that also could be said of Obama. She is unvetted. She is deeply conservative. She has a 4-month-old son with autism. She supported Pat Buchanan in the 2000 presidential election. She said recently she doesn't know much about the Iraq War and that she wasn't sure just what the Vice President does. She is the personification of "change" and is the consumate "Washington outsider" -- two desirable qualities after eight years of Bush. She's a former union member. She hunts. She looks like Tina Fey.
It'd be foolish to underestimate Palin. In the absence of some revelation or other scandal, she is not Dan Quayle and she is not Geraldine Ferraro. Quayle came off like a deer in the headlights during his vice presidential debate with Lloyd Bentsen. My gut feel is that this former beauty queen is more fox than deer -- and not because of the way she looks.
Choosing Palin was a liberal, bold gamble made by a conservative. Chosing Biden was a conservative, prudent pick made by a liberal.
McCain's pick was a Hail Mary pass to help him win an election -- more than it was to help him govern. Obama's pick was a run up the middle on first down (five-yard gain) to help him govern -- more than it was to help him win an election. Wouldn't a true conservative prefer the Obama methodology? Is now a good time to gamble as Americans are dying in the Middle East and as our economy tanks?
This will either help McCain win, just barely, or it'll help Obama win in a landslide. I don't think Obama wins a close election. He'll either win big, or he won't win at all.
John McCain, who has battled the deadliest form of skin cancer on multiple occasions, turned 72 on Friday. Sarah Palin would be one heartbeat away from the most powerful job in a dangerous world.
If that doesn't make your heart race, what would? On this level, this bold, liberal, non-traditional choice is reckless and asinine.