Facebook Status Updates I'd Like to See (But Probably Won't)

INSERT NAME HERE has explosive diarrhea.

INSERT NAME HERE is pleasuring himself.

INSERT NAME HERE is pleasuring herself.

INSERT NAME HERE is taking the Activia 14-day Challenge.

INSERT NAME HERE is using too many exclamation points!!!!

INSERT NAME HERE became a fan of rectal thermometers.

INSERT NAME HERE has her panties in a bunch.

INSERT NAME HERE has his panties in a bunch.

INSERT NAME HERE became a fan of Incomplete Sentences.

INSERT NAME HERE became a fan of Becoming a Fan of Things.

INSERT NAME HERE can't spell, punctuate or communicate.