Worth Watching

Suggested Halloween Costumes for 2006

The Who: You Better Bet They Rock

1982: The last time The Who released an album, and the last time (before last Friday) the Cardinals won a World Series.

This all changes today when The Who releases "Endless Wire," its first album of new material in 24 years.

Do a favor for Boris the Spider and check out this new release. Unlike John Cougar Mellencamp, and his "Our Country" single, I hope Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend haven't written any songs specifically designed to become TV jingles for trucks.

The Great YouTube Purge of 2006

Attorneys at Comedy Central aren't laughing.

Approximately 30,000 clips from the station's shows, including some provocative political humor from The Colbert Report and The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, have been purged from YouTube. YouTube began the mass deletions following legal threats.

This is good news for people who like George Bush, and a sound defeat for all Americans who love fake news.

Which is Scarier?

Lon Cheney, or Dick Cheney?












George Bush, or George Hamilton?

746

This is the number of people we high-fived outside of Busch Stadium last night after the Cards won.

This is a conservative estimate.

Tony

Career record: 2297-1986, third all-time for total career wins, trailing only Connie Mack (3,731) and John McGraw (2,763).

Along with Sparky Anderson, he is only the second manager to win the World Series in both leagues.

We'll see you in Cooperstown, Tony.

No More Waiting

Boo!

Are you scared yet?

How about now?

Cup of Joe Exclusive With Nasonex Bee

We here at The Cup of Joe recently sat down with the Nasonex Bee at an undisclosed coffee shop in Collinsville, Ill., for an exclusive interview. There were no ground rules for the interview, and no limitations were placed on what we could discuss with the Nasonex Bee. The interview comes in light of recent news involving big pharmaceutical companies trying to influence the midterm elections with donations to Republican candidates.

Cup of Joe: Welcome to Collinsville, Nasonex Bee, it’s an honor to meet you.

Nasonex Bee: Right back at ya, Cup o’ Joe. Please, call me N.B. You can also call me Mometasone Furoate.

COJ: Thanks, N.B. In terms of anti-inflammatory steroidal nasal sprays, we here at the Cup of Joe think you’re the greatest.

NB: Flattery will get you everywhere! (Laughs)

COJ: We like your accent. Is it Spanish?

NB: I call it my "conquistador Spanish." But I grew up in Pittsburgh.

COJ: It’s sexy. You must be a killer bee when it comes to the ladies.

NB: I do all right; I get my share. Let's just put it this way: The honeys sure do like to swarm around my hive. (Winks)

COJ: Can you share any more information, N.B., information not in the police report, involving the assault charges stemming against you in light of your barroom brawl with Digger the Dermatophyte over the Lunesta butterfly?

NB: Mind your own beeswax. My attorney has advised that I don’t speak any more on this matter. I can say, however, that I care very deeply for Lunesta the Butterfly. We had some rough times when she was still in the larval stage, but our relationship has blossomed since she metamorphosized. I can say nothing more.

COJ: If you could sting one person in the world, whom would it be?

NB: Michael J. Fox.

COJ: Fox?

NB: We agree with Rush Limbaugh. He was faking it in those TV commercials for Democrats. This was his worst performance since Teen Wolf. I would sting him right now if it didn’t mean that I’d be dead within the hour.

COJ: There have been unconfirmed reports, N.B., about drug companies seeking to influence the November elections in favor of Republicans, such as Rick Santorum in Pennsylvania, a Senator who supported legislation that makes it impossible for the government to negotiate better and fairer prices for prescription medications such as Nasonex. What's the buzz you are hearing about this?

NB: The Democrats voted against body armor for our soldiers in Iraq.

COJ: What does this have to do with Senators being bought and sold by the drug companies?

NB: The Democrats want to cut and run. This is all I can say. Again, I could sting you right now, but it means I’d be dead within the hour. You’re simply not worth it.

COJ: So will the Republicans win?

N.B.: I think we’re going to retain the House and Senate --- by a nose. (Laughs)

COJ: (Laughs.)

NB: (Still laughing)

COJ: Thank you for your time, Senor Mometasone Furoate. We really appreciate you spending this time with us this afternoon. With the election just two weeks away, we know you are busy as a bee trying to get Republicans elected. Enjoy the rest of your double latte.

Couric Interviews Fox

Moments ago, the Michael J. Fox interview with Katie Couric (whose father suffers from Parkinson's disease) aired on the CBS Evening News. Couric writes:

He trembled uncontrollably, and his legs shook, but he explained it was actually a side effect of not taking enough medication. He told me he reduced his dosage because he didn’t want to have dyskinesia, which is the side effect of too much medication, and which causes the swaying back and forth that was so evident in the controversial ad for Missouri Democratic Senate candidate Claire McCaskill. Fox said that he can never tell from one day to the next how serious his symptoms will be. It’s a crapshoot. Our interview lasted about 30 minutes.

You can read Couric's full blog entry on the interview and eventually view the unedited interview at the link starting here.

Bees and Butterflies Could Decide Election

This story begs a question: If the Republicans win the midterm elections in two weeks, does this mean we should point the finger at 1) the Nasonex Bee, 2) Digger the Dermatophyte or 3) the Lunesta Butterfly?

Good TV and High Sodium

On the menu tonight*: a Healthy Choice microwave meal -- Sesame Chicken -- and (for dessert) a new episode in the second season of that tasty Bravo series Top Chef.

Bon Appetit.

(*Assuming, of course, a rainout of the World Series.)

Worst (and Best) Magazine Covers

Simon Dumenco at Advertising Age has come up with a delightful list of some of the worst magazine covers of the last few years. We can't help but agree that Rosie's "staph is no laugh" cover is not only bad, it's a little nauseating. ("To this day I'm thankful Rosie didn't have, like, a really bad yeast infection," writes Dumenco.)

And if you like to keep your glass half full, the winners selected as the best magazine covers of the last year can be found here and here. Surprise: The New Yorker won.

20 + 4 = Cure for Cancer?

A prediction for the upcoming season of 24 on Fox: Jack Bauer, in between foiling (by himself) simultaneous terrorist attacks in major U.S. cities, also will end global childhood hunger, cure cancer and win the Nobel Prize for literature. (This is provided that Chloe is able to download the mainframe data to Jack's PDA in less than 10 seconds, before Bierko can reprogram the trigger mechanism for the stolen cannisters.)

And Jack won't even break a sweat.

You can watch the trailer for the new season at this link. And be warned: Things aren't looking so rosy for San Antonio and St. Louis.

Oh Mary

Mary Matalin just said on MSNBC, moments ago, that not only will the Republicans not lose the Midterm elections, they will actually pick up seats.

The only explanation for this is that she's either seen first-hand the frozen body of Osama Bin Laden or she knows something we don't know about all those new electronic voting machines that have no paper trail.

Just what's inside the Karl Rove bag of magic tricks? Does Mary know?

Madonna Mix + GW = Heard It All Before