Friday, February 22, 2008

Hillary Clinton = Lisa Simpson (Sometimes)

Whether it's the Little Miss Springfield Pagaent or a school competition for first saxophone in the school band, Lisa Simpson savors achievement. She is smart, competitive, vulnerable. She is embarrased, often, by the men in her life. Like all perfect students, with her high level of competence and intelligence, she expects to win and hates to lose.

In episodes of The Simpson's involving competition or competitive behavior, Lisa Simpson = Hillary Clinton.

Consider the episode titled "Lisa's Rival," the second episode of the show's sixth season, which originally aired on Sept. 11, 1994.

If you watch this episode and others, feel free to use the below key while reading or listening to dialogue.

Hillary Clinton = Lisa
Barack Obama = Allison
Bart = "Your Call"

From "Lisa's Rival"

At lunch time, Lisa approaches Allison, who is seated on a bench eating a sandwich.

Lisa: Hi, Allison, I'm Lisa Simpson. Oh, it's great to finally meet someone who converses above the normal eight-year-old level.

Allison: Actually, I'm seven. I was just skipped ahead because I was getting bored with the first grade.

Lisa: You're younger than me too? [looks worried, starts breathing into her paper lunch bag]

Allison: Are you hyperventilating?

Lisa: No ... I just like to smell my lunch.


Lisa: Well, I gotta go. I have to practice for band auditions.

Allison: Me too! Hey, what instrument do you play?

Lisa: The sax.

Allison: Me too!

Lisa: I'm going for first chair this year.

Allison: Me too!

Lisa: Wow! [disingenuous] We have so much in common, I'm sure we'll be the best of friends...

Allison: Me too.

Lisa: [weakly] Me too...


Lisa: I need help, Mom. There's another girl at school who's smarter, younger, and a better sax player than me. Ew, I feel so average.

Marge: Well, you'll always be number one to me --

Bart: [walking past] Ahem, hello ... first born within earshot.

Marge: Mmm, I meant my number-one girl -- [Maggie tugs on Marge's dress] Oh, for cry -- mmm. Honey, if you get too competitive, you'll never be happy. No matter how good you are, there's always going to be someone better than you. {I always thought I had the
tallest hair, but that trip to Graceland really opened my eyes.}

Lisa: But she's better than me at everything that makes me special!

Marge: Oh, believe me honey, she's more scared of you than you are of her.

Lisa: [sullen] You're thinking of bears, Mom.

Later in the episode, Lisa sabatoges Allison's diorama entry -- a scene from Edgar Allan Poe's The Tell-Tale Heart -- during a school competition, hoping to win by cheating, becoming a schemer determined to win at all costs.

You know, sort of like claiming big wins in the basically uncontested Michigan and Florida democratic primaries; intimidating superdelegates; stealing your opponent's pledged delegates; or drumming up phony plagiarism charges against your opponent.

Then again, even Lisa Simpson would probably admit defeat if she had lost 10 consecutive diarama competitions.


Anonymous said...

Brilliant post! Does this make Bill Clinton Ralph Wiggum or Milhouse?
-- Elgy

Anonymous said...

I think the Bumblebee Guy would make a great VP.

Scott-O-Rama said...

Great post!

To be fair, although Clinton has lost a lot of the contests, she is neck and neck with Obama in terms of actual votes cast in all the contests.

Because of the electoral college system though, we can't take that into account if we want to be strategic about who can win.

Me? I'm voting for Lenny. Who doesn't like Lenny?