Great News for Jamie Summers

The Bionic Woman is a go for the NBC fall Schedule! LINK.

Here's my earlier post from March, when the pilot was ordered.

Lost Has Found Some Answers

This morning, about five seconds after I finished watching Lost on Tivo, I received this email from a reader: "LOST was excellent last night and finally answered some questions."

What do you think?

***

Fun Fact: Father's Day is coming up next month. Dads and sons all over the country will enjoy a beer together to celebrate.

Just make sure it does not involve drinking a "Dharma initiative beer."

After last night, we now know what happens to a father when he tried to enjoy a Dharma initiative beer with his son.

This barley-inspired beer sure didn't have a "refreshing finish" for at least one da-da.

After last night's episode, I'm getting a sense, now, that the show itself will have a finish, like the best of beers, that very well could be ... clean, crisp, refreshing and, most important of all, satisfying.

When The Camera Lies

What's the best way to solve America's growing obesity problem? Joining a gym? Stuffling less food in your mouth?

The makers of digital cameras have a better idea! It's new "slimming technology" that makes people look less fat.

Here's the photo from today's Wall Street Journal demonstrating the technology.




I wonder if this new technology also reduces the risk of heart attacks?

Carm and The Rebel

Two shows to watch closely: The Simpsons and ... The Sopranos.

Both shows throw in nuggets and details, and very funny ones, that you may miss if you don't watch closely.

For example, on Sunday night's episode of The Sopranos, Tony's wife Carm was reading in bed a book, Rebel in Chief: How George W. Bush Is Redefining the Conservative Movement and Transforming America, by Fred Barnes.

This was a laugh-out-loud moment.

Written when Bush was still popular, Rebel in Chief should go down as a complete embarassment to Barnes for its hagiographic, uncritical views of Bush.

It also makes me laugh, as Carm has pointed out before, that the Soprano family is ... Republican.

Here is an excerpt from the book in which Barnes compares George Bush to ... Franklin D. Roosevelt and Teddy Roosevelt:

Bush is actually a mixture of FDR and TR, with FDR's cool optimism and TR's pugnacity and determination. This combination strikes some, especially critics, as arrogance. A more charitable view is that Bush has the temperament of a self-assured Texas male. To those who insist he swaggers, Bush responds, "In Texas, we call it walking." Bush has a penchant for embracing big projects. He dismisses many issues as "small-ball" or "mini-ball" -- not worth a president's time and attention. One of his favorite sayings is "We didn't come here to do school uniforms." It's a dig at Clinton, the master of the mini-proposal.

I'm happy that the Sopranos writers don't ignore "mini-balls," or should I say "the details," when they write.

Details are important, don't you know, in writing and in running a country.

If Bill Clinton had the exact same record as George Bush, Fred Barnes would have absolutely blasted Clinton. So why does he love Bush so uncritically, just because he has the label "Republican"?

***

Things I Find In My Basement

PART OF A CONTINUING SERIES


Vintage record album, Zingers From the Hollywood Squares, 1974. Birthday gift, 1995.

Starring Peter Marshall and featuring Charo, Ed Asner, Sally "Fields" (they spelled her name wrong on the album cover), Redd Foxx, Buddy Hackett, Don Knotts, Michael Landon, Rich Little, Burt Reynolds, Don Rickles, McLean Stevenson, Rose Marie, Fredie Prinze, Leslie Uggams, Karen Valentine, Sandy Duncan, Dom Deluise ... AND MORE!

At the time this record was released, Hollywood Squares was "the only television program for which unprecedented viewer demand required not only five daytime telecasts perweek, but also two evening shows."

***

This is also "Something I'll Never Place on Ebay."

***

If I can figure out how to transfer this album to a digital format, I'll post "Joe's Favorite Zingers." I have my money on Charro.

Speakers of zingers, I wish the word zinger would come up more in daily conversation, sort of like my five favorite seldom used nouns of insult, my five favorite seldom used expressions, or my five favorite words seldom heard in every conversation.

Father of the Year?

Here's an entry in the "things I didn't need to see" department.

This 28-second video of a drunken former Baywatch star eating what looks like some kind of fast-food sandwich while being filmed by his daughter was added to YouTube yesterday and, as of right now, had almost 600,000 views.

At least he didn't call his daughter a little piggy.

OH MY.

The Facts of Life

Let me just state this at the outset: I respect John McCain and the sacrifice he made for his country. I wrote about it here and here, in posts titled "A Republican Who Is Not A Chicken Hawk" and "McCain in Perspective."

In fact, I think the U.S. (and the world) would be in a much better place had he been the Republican presidential nominee in 2000.

But anywho: Last night, McCain's stilted chop-chop gestures seemed so forced and phony, straight from the playbook of some tired media consultant and certainly not straight from the Straight Talk Express. And his suit? Those fake shoulder pads (I'm assuming they had to be fake) were bigger than what Blair used to wear on The Facts of Life.

Don't Monkey With These Three

Last night, during the Republican presidential debate, the candidates were asked to raise their hands if they didn't believe in evolution. Three of them did. John McCain didn't, but he did gush something about the glories of the Grand Canyon.

Pictured above is my reaction just moments after I saw the three hands raise up. Please note that any resemblance to various candidates on stage (including three in particular) is purely coincidental.

Mit Picking

Here's my pictorial reaction to American Dad, er, I mean Gov. Mit Romney, aka "Flip Flop! Deluxe," and his performance at the Republican Presidential debate last night.




"Altered nuclear transfer creates embryo-like cells that can be used for stem cell research," Romney said enthusiastically, not a hair out of place, as America said a collective HWAT?

I wonder if "altered nuclear transfer" is the same scientific process that led the good governor to change his views on abortion and gay rights and a host of other things?

Oh well: We'll always have the Salt Lake City games.

Love on the Battlefield

Democratic presidential candidate Mike Gravel, the former Senator from Alaska, explained last night on The Colbert Report about why homosexuality should be encouraged in the armed forces.

It all comes down to love on the battlefield, he says around the 3:35 mark below, and the result would save lives. Watch:



"In Sparta, they encouraged homosexuality because they [soldiers] fight for the people they love."
-- Former Sen. Mike Gravel on "don't ask, don't tell."

A lot of people may be inclined to say Gravel has rocks in his head, but think about it: If you're hetersexual or homosexual, wouldn't you fight harder and with more passion if your wife or lover were right next to you, and whose life was in danger?

Baghdad = Bag Dad

If you saw Lost last night, in an episode titled "The Brig," here's some, er, interesting analysis From Entertainment Weekly:

For those of you who like to view Lost as an allegory for our post-9/11 devolution, ''The Brig'' was certainly suffused with homeland insecurity and geopolitical jitters. This reading is unavoidable and valid, though it's tough to know how far to push it. Certainly a title like ''The Brig,'' a word for a military prison, is fair game for deconstruction. But how about that ending, in which Locke put his dead father in a sack and trudged into the jungle to meet his destiny? If I were feeling impish, I might try to forge a link between ''father in a sack'' and ''Baghdad,'' and then wonder aloud how our Iraq-fixated current Commander-in-Chief might interpret Lost's themes of failed fathers and screwed-up sons, burdensome legacies and clean slates. See what I mean about taking it too far? (I'm sooo getting wiretapped for that one.)

If you were (or are) an English major in college, you also may enjoy the rest of Jeff Jensen's analysis of the show last night. The others ... might not.

***

Here's my first post on the Bush father-son relationship, in a post titled, It Was The Jiggles That Worried Me.

Those jiggles, by the way, still worry me.

False Note

Did you see George and Laura Bush on American Idol last night?

American Idol raised nearly $70 million for needy people around the world, which is a great thing, including money for victims of Hurricane Katrina. The Bushes took the opportunity to thank viewers for their generosity.

The Bushes may remember Hurricane Katrina, right?

It's a shame that the Bush administration bungled potential foreign aid to Katrina victims totaling more than $800 million. The Washington Post reported the story over the weekend. You can read more here and here and here.

D'oh!

***

Here's how I would rank last night's performances, from best to worst: Melinda, Blake, Lakisha, Phil, Chris, Jordin, Laura Bush, George Bush.

I know who I'd be sending home to Texas.

Comic Gold

Tom Poston, who died on Monday, has been making me laugh since I was a kid, with appearances on shows such as The Bob Newhart Show and Mork & Mindy.

After reading his New York Times obit, Poston got one final laugh from me, and it involves a stunt he pulled involving his final audition in television and gold lamé boxer shorts.

Confused About Kitties

I'm trying to imagine the perplexed person who is so befuddled about adorable kittens that they would need the help of this book. I saw it for sale while standing in line at the local grocery store.

A few weeks ago the store was selling Baby Names for Dummies.

Coming up next, the explosive best seller: Passing Gas For Dummies.

The Cup of Joe: April in Review

* Opening day in baseball was April 1, which prompted a very special entry with baseball statistics specifically designed to terrify CNN's Lou Dobbs. LINK.

* Have you and your lover taken The Cup of Joe Relationship Compatibility Quiz? DISCLAIMER: The Cup of Joe and its assignees are not responsible for any break-ups that may result from taking this quiz. LINK.

* What does one of the most charming songs in the history of American musical theater have to do with kitty litter? Meet the World's Best Cat Litter, which makes cats feel pretty, oh so pretty. LINK and LINK.


* April saw several new regular features added to TCOJ, including Things I Find In My Basement and Things We All Can Agree On. One more thing I think we all can agree on: I find some strange things in my basement. LINK and LINK.

I'm also inviting reader submissions for my Switch Hitters regular feature ... which hasn't been so regular. Who wants to step up to the plate? LINK.

* The month saw two entries in the Five Favs series -- my "five favorite people on television" and my "five favorite episodes of WKRP in Cincinatti," which is now out on DVD, but (grumble) minus the original music. LINK.

* Sanjaya! (And American Idol.) LINK.

* The Sopranos! LINK.

* Mitt! LINK.

* Vacation! LINK.

* Easter provided an opportunity for readers to meet a few of the Holy Weak. LINK.

* Don Imus got fired, prompting a national conversation on race that began almost as quickly as it ended. LINK.

* The 10th anniversary of Ellen's Time magazine coming out story took place on April 14. If you haven't figured it out yet, The Cup of Joe *hearts* Ellen. LINK.

Also in April: Wally celebrated a birthday, and we celebrated an anniversary. How do I repay his love? I steal his identity and post a phony animation he had nothing to do with. My apologies to Wally -- not for putting words in his mouth, but because he's so much more gorgeous than his cartoon version. LINK.

Mission Impossible

Four years after Mission Accomplished, some thoughts on Bush the Lesser.

Moving Picture Violation

Last night, while jogging, I was almost hit by a car driven by an elderly man who went through a red light.

My Ipod was only two songs into Shuffleplay when it happened, and the song that was playing during the incident was the progressive rock classic "Limelight" by Rush, off the band's 1981 album Moving Pictures, and something I can say I haven't listened to in many years.

I couldn't help but think had the man struck me, that perhaps the last sound I would hear on earth would have been the distinctive voice of Canadian rocker Geddy Lee.

This does not give me solace. Not that his voice isn't heavenly.