Bill of Rights + Beefy Guys = Readership?

I realize that basically NOBODY but my friends and a few dozen others are reading this blog, UNLESS I post a shirtless picture of a hunky guy, and then I get visitors.

Like last week, when this post drew about 2,000 visitors in a single day, most of whom decided never to return.

This bothers me a little, because I think some of the other things I bring up here, from time to time, like this and this, are important.


Therefore, I've decided that the only way to get people to read some of the things that I think are important would be IF I also post these words along with shirtless and semi-nude hunks.

Because of this, I offer you below the Bill of Rights (which I think is important) with a splash of Beefy Guys.

And whether you are a strict constructionist or not, I believe that YOU have the right to beat off while reading.

Enjoy.

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

Amendment XXVIII (forthcoming)

Fags can't marry. Fags can't adopt. Fags can't have equal rights. God hates fags. Yeah, we're talking to YOU, Mary Cheney.

"Hear, Hear!":
Here, here, and here,
just to name three.

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